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JUSQ LERD | 8 Patron Saints For These Crazy Modern Times

We can use all the help we can get.

| April 13, 2017

JUSQ LERD |

8 Patron Saints

for These Crazy Modern Times

By Eldrin Veloso

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A wise woman once said, “dasal lang, dasal lang talaga.” And when you look around—skim the headlines, scroll through your social media timelines—you would tend to agree. Because, no mortal can answer your perennial question “ano na nangyayari sa world?”

It’s hard to survive a day unscathed without intervention—divine intervention. The things happening in the world are so crazy it would sometimes take a miracle to understand how the hell in heavens they happened.

And miracle we shall ask. Like the Justice League with their specialized superpowers, here are saints that you can call upon during some greater-than-thou situations concerning their “specialties.”

Saint Walter of Pontoise | Stress

For someone who had to avoid responsibilities repeatedly, St. Walter understands why we often blurt, “ibang level na ang stress, besh.” King Philip I appointed him abbot of a new foundation at Pontoise—a responsibility Walter didn’t want due to his protest of rededicating the foundation to another saint.

He repeatedly fled the house, only to be found and forced to return every time. He even gave his resignation letter directly to Pope Gregory VII, but the latter ordered him to go back to Pontoise and never leave again.

So, for the many times your job gives you a flip-the-table-sweep-the-desk-kill-them-in-my-mind-i-want-to-quit kind of stress, just say a quick prayer to St. Walter. He won’t help you with your job but praying projects the resolve of handling stress really well.

 

Saint Francis de Sales | Journalists

Whenever we curse the media for giving us daily dose of bad news, let’s take the time to consider that maybe, just maybe, they’d rather hear and report good news, too.

And with how fast events get crazier and crazier, journalists need all the support they can get to keep tabs on these ever-changing issues. And who better to guide them than the saint that used the power of mass communications to convert people to Catholicism—St. Francis de Sales.

With the truth being bent farther than Neo in Matrix, real news writers would need superhuman guidance to stick to irrefutable facts and proper reporting. We all need to pray; for our own sake.

 

Saint Drausinus | Invincible

If ever you feel useless in this world, imagine being a patron saint for invincible people. What would an unbeatable, invulnerable, indomitable person need a saint for?

According to some legends, staying the night at the tomb of St. Drausinus made one invincible. Armies reportedly stayed at the tomb the night before a victorious fight.

So, if the seemingly invincible people lording our society now wouldn’t need St. Drausinus, maybe we can ask him to accord us the same invincibility—the courage to do whatever they want. Maybe, at least for once, we can achieve that equality.

 

Saint Gengulphus of Burgundy | Adultery

Speaking of doing whatever they want, hello proud adulterers! Thank you for making us lose our faith in trust itself and proving that the world will accept any apology for infidelity.

Now, for those who can’t stand idly by, please welcome St. Gengulphus—the saint to invoke against adultery.

Why him? Let’s just say that when he left his house, his wife committed adultery with a priest. She said she’s innocent, but as a follower of Christ, he wished to God a way to judge her innocence. He had her dip her hand in tap water and it came out miraculously scalded. He then forbade her from seeing the priest again. But of course, the priest killed Gengulphus to continue their adulterous relationship and as they say, the rest was a sickening history.

But it gave us a saint to pray for against adultery. So, join us! Let’s all do a vigil in the name of St. Gengulphus tomorrow night, 7pm, in front of Batasan Pambansa.