4. Her next high-profile breakup, when it happens

Via mariasoltaule.wordpress.com
Why Now: Why not? Kris Aquino knows that dirty laundry gets all the eyeballs. Expect to find out things about both parties that you wish you never, ever knew.

Odds: 8 to 1. The only way this won’t happen is if she came back to showbiz before her breakup.

3. Kris’s 46th birthday

Via instagram

Why Now: To celebrate her birthday, she gets seven hundred new TV shows on ABS-CBN. Sounds like a plan, and only requires her to wait for less than a year for a hotly-anticipated return. It’s almost like she never even left!

Odds: 5 to 1. A year? Might be too long for her to wait.

2. This Christmas

Via boardwalk.com.ph

Why Now: Because she would steal the show when she shows up in the Christmas station ID! And she would be giving a huge Christmas present to all her fans, right? Meanwhile, everyone else gets a lump of coal. Also, four words: Metro Manila Film Festival. Or whatever they plan to replace it with.

Odds: 50 to 1. This seems like a perfect target date as any, and Kris Aquino multi-tasks so well, she’d assume she’s done with raising her kids by November this year.

1. April 1, 2016

Via 8list.ph

Why Now: Because expecting her to ever truly leave is a fool’s errand and a joke.

Odds: 1,000,000 to 1. Remember: she’s only leaving ABS-CBN. She never said a thing about movies or endorsements. Or even jumping to another network.

It’s apparent that Kris Aquino is leaving ABS-CBN temporarily so she can have a healthier lifestyle. That’s great, because Kris Aquino leaving also gives us a healthier lifestyle. We wish her nothing but the best, and a lengthy, maybe even permanent time away from the spotlight.

Because we’re suckers for punishment like that.

What’s your bet on Kris’ comeback? Sound off in the comments below!

Pages: 1 2