LUTO! | 8 Types of NBA Fans

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LUTO! | 8 Types of NBA Fans

LAGLAG LARO BANWAGNER!

| June 7, 2018

Bandwagoner

Actually, bandwagoners ain’t too bad. At least, they maintain their interests in the NBA. More fans, more fun. But yeah, sometimes, they get a little annoying. Like a tinga you can’t get out of your teeth. They’re quite amusing though. Last year, they’re rooting for the Cleveland Cavaliers—okay, scratch that. Who are we kidding? They’ve always rooted for the Golden State Warriors! Basta, whoever has the best chance to win, the bandwagoners are aboard. Pretty much like David West.

 

The Conspiracy Theorist

In this flat Earth of ours, theories abound. In the NBA realm, fans turn into Charles Darwin, Stephen Hawking, and the cast of Big Bang Theory whenever the Finals roll around. Klay Thompson can’t shoot? He was poisoned by a bellboy in Cleveland. JR Smith can’t shoot? An old witch in Oakland cast a spell. Jordan Clarkson can’t shoot? That’s definitely his fault. After all, the NBA is just a diversionary tactic for Kim Jong-Un to invade the entire galaxy.

via GIPHY

 

HATER

THIS IS HOW THIS TYPE OF BASKETBALL FAN SPEAKS!!! WHETHER IT ALSO APPLIES IN REAL LIFE, NO ONE KNOWS!!! HERE’S WHAT’S PRETTY SURE THOUGH: R.I.P., KEYBOARD. NO MATTER HOW MAGNIFICENT LEBRON JAMES OR STEPHEN CURRY PLAYS, THE HATERS WILL COME OUT OF THEIR CAVES!!! THEY’LL SPEW VITRIOL AND UNNECESSARY EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! FOR GOOD MEASURE, THEY’LL ALSO INCLUDE NON-SEQUITUR COMMENTS LIKE “LEBRON UNGGOY!!!” OR “CURRY BADING!!!” THEY DON’T APPRECIATE GREATENSS. OR CORRECT SPELLING. THEY ONLY APPRECIATE THE ALL-POWERFUL CAPS LOCK KEY.

 

The Culinary Connoisseur

Sit yo ass down, Gordon Ramsay! This type of NBA fan knows everything about the art of cooking. He/she should be awarded 6763031 Michelin stars with the way he/she views everything as cooking (dry-aged, perhaps?). “LUTOOOO P*TAAA!!! NILUTO NG REFEREE!!!” Every goddamn time. To him/her, the NBA is nothing but a money-grabbing organization. Players are paid, coaches are paid, and officials are paid. Yet strangely, he/she continues to watch. This type of fan is as pleasurable as raw chicken ass.

via GIPHY

 

So, what type of fan are you? Tell us below!