Super Life-Changing Tips for Bums After Graduation

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Super Life-Changing Tips for Bums After Graduation

For those about to bum…

| April 19, 2017

Inject culture in your life

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Nothing says culture absorption than watching a bunch of TV shows. With today’s entertainment-driven zeitgeist, your cultural sensibilities will be refined in just a few clicks of the remote control. Learn the aesthetics of emotive performance art on Wowowin. Be in awe of the magnificence of numbers on the daily PCSO Lotto Draw. Imbibe the wonders of provincial life on Ang Probinsyano. Witness the cathartic ethos of cocks on Sagupaan: Sabong Pinoy. You’ll be a culture connoisseur in no time.


See the world


There’s really nothing like traveling. It clears the mind and nourishes the soul. Don’t say that climbing a 5,000-foot mountain just to take a selfie isn’t life-altering? But since you’re a bum, you can’t afford to climb mountains or sunbathe in beaches. So, take the road less traveled—literally. Find inner peace in the utopian streets of Brgy. Culiat. Curse your non-existent love life atop Smokey Mountain. Take a lovely, refreshing dip in Ilog Pasig. Anthony Bourdain is already jealous.


Make social experiments

Do something worthwhile and significant with your idle time. Do the world a favor and make social experiments. Pretend you’re a well-read taong grasa and recite Oedipus Rex while in a cramped MRT when everyone’s stressed and ready to combust. Roam the eskinitas of Tondo while holding a placard that says “FREE SAPAK.” Run naked along EDSA and pick a fight with all the stupid drivers. Try ‘em. They’re not pretentious at all. You might even win a Nobel Prize.


Don’t quit

The attention span of today’s youth is shorter than Mahal’s mini-skirt. They’re indecisive, unsure, and fickle-minded. They jump from one thing to another. So if you’re a bum, be a bum! Own it! Commit to something for chrissakes! Burn your diploma and raise a middle finger to capitalism! Just lie in bed all day and eat bags of potato chips (salted egg flavor?). After all, there’s nothing more admirable than being a free-loader. As Aretha Franklin correctly spelled it: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.


Got any more tips? Share them with us below!