8 Truths About Dating a Writer

By Therese Aseoche

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When you’re dating a writer, you’re bound to suffer bouts of self-doubt, overthinking, and hypersensitivity, at the same time you’ll enjoy insightful midnight conversations, stories of their favorite authors, and a playlist of songs with lyrics they love.

The clichés you see in films and novels aren’t always true (we’re not all depressed alcoholics, or too poor to afford proper food), but there are a few things to keep in mind when entering a relationship with a writer:

They’ll correct your grammar all the time

Even if they don’t point out your mistake outright, they’re most probably correcting what you say in their head. It’s not that they want to embarrass you or make you feel stupid; most of the time they just can’t help it. With a career that requires them to be conscious of their own grammar, they’re prone to being conscious also of that of others.

They’ll take time to write you long letters

They won’t do it often, but when they’re struck by inspiration and motivation to write, expect their letters to be almost a page long (minimum) and be full of elaborate, poetic declarations that simply mean “I love you” or “Happy birthday” or “I’m sorry”.

They tend to observe everything

They like to observe their environment and draw inspiration from it as source material, and that means giving a little bit more attention to details that people normally wouldn’t notice. So don’t be surprised if they’re aware of your little nuances and quirks, or what song was playing inside the cafe you went to, or how the customer at the table beside yours ordered salad with steak on the side.

If they care about you, you will be written about

It’s true what they say; date a writer and you will forever be immortalized. Whether you had been good to them or bad to them, they will write — and they will write at length — because that’s the only way they can cope with their emotions, with their thoughts, with their experiences with you.

You should never, ever joke about their work

Writers will always try to hide the fact that they’re sensitive because they know that when they let their walls down, they’re possibly setting themselves up to have their egos permanently bruised. It takes a great amount of love and trust for them to be able to share their work to you, and the worst thing you could possibly do is to joke about how bad it is or point out things you find disagreeable in an unconstructive manner. 

When a deadline’s coming, you don’t exist

Respect the fact that they’re going to need to channel all their focus and energy in the last remaining time they have to finish their work, and they can’t handle any distraction from outside forces — including you. 

They’re always game to try new experiences

One thing you’ll love about dating a writer is that they always have an open mind. Adventure may not be in their best interest, but they’re always curious to try new things for the sole reason that it could be great material for their work. Expect them to, most often than not, be game to explore new places and try new experiences. Inspiration is out there, after all!

They’ll either say everything at once, or nothing at all

At one point, you have to accept that sometimes writers can’t always say what’s on their mind as eloquently as they can when writing them down. They can jump from speaking out all at once to saying nothing at all, keeping their thoughts inside their head because they’re not sure how to word it out or whether you’ll understand their point of view. Stay patient, and don’t let them crumble under the weight of their thoughts.


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