A change in the routine and
rhythm of life
This year’s summer started out earlier than expected for Filipinos— and not because of the relentless humidity and heat. Like most of the world, Pinoys have been shut in and essentially put under house arrest since mid-March as part of the government’s efforts to curb the spread of the menacing COVID-19.
The rug was pulled from under our feet. In the days that followed the official lockdown announcement, we witnessed the unprecedented. Almost all establishments closed up shop, companies rushed to transition to remote work, and classes were suspended. Major cities and economies were paralyzed in the face of a threat to our safety and livelihood.
The country is slowly reopening, but it’s clear that we can’t go back to our “normal” way of living if we are ever to survive this invisible enemy, which has been so powerful it has taken the lives of over a thousand Filipinos in the country and infected more than 30,000 individuals. This crisis has drawn a clear line between two worlds: 1) the once unremarkable humdrum of life that came before the pandemic; and 2) the so-called “new normal”, the nature of which we are still trying to establish.
How do we respond to such a huge uncertainty?
What will the new normal
look like?
A Harvard School of Public Health study concluded that intermittent social distancing should last until 2022 if we ever want to completely get back on our feet.
We’re looking at remote work as a permanent arrangement for some companies and, yes, more meetings will have to be conducted via video calls. Restaurants and food joints will likely re-layout their interiors to make sure customers are sticking to the social distancing rules. Some schools will push back their academic year or some might migrate online. We won’t get to organize get-togethers for a while or even eat with our friends in large groups. Traveling and tourism might be possible, but because crowds will have to be limited, it’ll likely become more expensive, and rigid sanitation rules will have to be enforced.
But social distancing does not
mean isolation
“Isolation does not necessarily mean disconnection,” she says. “We have to remember that before we think ‘Oh no, I’m isolated,’ there are ways of connecting with people. While it’s not face-to-face, there are still many opportunities for connection, for communication, for social bonding. There is that advantage of present technology that is available.”
“Isolation does not necessarily mean disconnection,” she says. “We have to remember that before we think ‘Oh no, I’m isolated,’ there are ways of connecting with people. While it’s not face-to-face, there are still many opportunities for connection, for communication, for social bonding. There is that advantage of present technology that is available.”
Friends and family are just a video chat, private message, or phone call away. In fact, many of today’s youth are already used to this setup.
But what about the people who already had mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, even before the pandemic?
While this lockdown does impose a challenge for those who need professional help, a number of psychiatrists and psychologists can now be reached online or via phone call. Ateneo Bulatao Center doctors themselves have continued their online counseling.
If people with anxiety and depression find talking to professionals online daunting, Dra. Fernandez advises two things: connect with people you feel safe and strive to find a physical space that is your own. Set aside time throughout your day to talk to people that will listen, be empathic, and validate your feelings.
Look for meaning in the midst
of tragedy
We Filipinos have always associated ourselves with “resilience,” the near-magical ability to spring back from bleak or tough situations. But the late Viktor Frankl, who was a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist from Vienna, might have had a better term for this characteristic: tragic optimism.
Tragic optimism refers to “the ability to maintain hope and find meaning in life despite its inescapable pain, loss, and suffering.” The idea is that a person’s response to a situation determines whether or not they grow from it.
Having a healthy mind doesn’t mean tamping down on emotions when they arise.
Of course, we aren’t ever going to be free from anxiety and stress, especially in these present circumstances. To combat the negative emotions, Dra. Fernandez suggests looking into Viktor Frankl’s Triangle of Meaning and its 3 aspects:
The new normal presents a chance to discover new things about ourselves, about our environment. It’s how we perceive and respond to things that will affect us in the long run. Dra. Fernandez notes that a lot of her clients are reporting that they’re using their anxious energy during the lockdown and channeling it to get creative.
“It creates for them these pockets of opportunities for them to be productive, to problem-solve, [and do some] decision making, when before they didn’t have those. So in a way, there is some actual growth happening because of the new context, the new normal that they are in,” she says.
Respond to things you
can control
For months, we’ve been hearing of companies filing bankruptcy, global recession, and businesses struggling to survive. The world is swiftly changing, so it’s normal to feel anxious or even fearful of the uncertainties. But it’s important to put boundaries to our stress responses.
“Our battle cry now is to respond to things that you can control,” says Dra. Fernandez. “Are you eating well? Are you exercising? Because that helps the physical. The physical will then help us emotionally as well. Have a routine, wake up at a certain time, eat lunch at a certain time, exercise at a certain time. Having some sort of routine gives us that sense of purpose for waking up and spending our energy.”
Adjusting to a new life after this pandemic won’t be a walk in the park. Our daily routines will have to change, and our habits rewired to fit safety standards. Though it will be a while before we find ourselves dancing carefree in the middle of a concert again, why waste time focusing on things you can’t control? Instead, create a new routine and make yourself comfortable. We’re emerging into a new world, but the transition doesn’t have to be unpleasant.
Be kind to yourself now,
more than ever
Nothing will ever be the same, and it’s not easy to accept that. “The reason why we’re having so much trouble adjusting to what’s happening right now is because we’re not able to really take care of our mental wellbeing,” says Anne Silva, Tanglaw Mental Health Founder and CEO. “Mental self-care is really about knowing the current beliefs that you have. What are these negative beliefs that are not supporting you? And how can you reframe them?”
At the end of the day, it all boils down to self-care. Set limits for yourself that you will respect. You can spend your days working at home but keep in mind to stick to your break times and to eat properly. Productivity shouldn’t be your main priority, your own wellbeing is.
“Acknowledge your capacity,” Dra. Fernandez advises. “We need time to take care of ourselves. We need time to recharge. We cannot always be there for others because as the saying goes, we cannot give what we cannot have.”
Take a break from social media
Hunkered in our homes, the easiest form of entertainment is social media. While it has helped us communicate easily, it has also become a hotbed for toxicity and could elicit strong feelings of animosity and/or helplessness. What’s dangerous is when we don’t recognize social media’s effects on us right away. That’s exactly why during this time, at least, social media should be used sparingly.
“Whether it’s being in front of a computer or even exercising, you have to sense when you are reaching your limit,” says Dra. Fernandez. A huge factor to anyone’s stress is the content they’re exposed to online. “Regulating [time spent online] can help us deal not just with the fatigue, but also the emotional responses to the onslaught of information that comes in.”
“Whether it’s being in front of a computer or even exercising, you have to sense when you are reaching your limit,” says Dra. Fernandez. A huge factor to anyone’s stress is the content they’re exposed to online. “Regulating [time spent online] can help us deal not just with the fatigue, but also the emotional responses to the onslaught of information that comes in.”
Looking ahead to a better life
post-pandemic
The road to our new normal is riddled with potholes; that’s expected. But part of the “new normal” is learning to adapt to a changing environment. And if you look around, we’re already stepping up to the challenge.
Companies have become part of what’s been called the largest work-from-home experiment and have found that their employees are functioning well, even outside the office.
The road to our new normal is riddled with potholes; that’s expected. But part of the “new normal” is learning to adapt to a changing environment. And if you look around, we’re already stepping up to the challenge.
Companies have become part of what’s been called the largest work-from-home experiment and have found that their employees are functioning well, even outside the office.
Businesses are pitching in together to help frontliners and the marginalized, either through donations or employment — one example is Foodpanda, which partnered with local government units to hire tricycle drivers who haven’t been earning since the start of the lockdown.
“People have been more anxious and stressed because of the uncertainty and the vulnerability, but we’re also seeing so many stories of heroism, growth, caring, creativity,” says Dra. Fernandez. “We have sadness, stress, and so on, but at the same time, there is hope and joy and strength and resilience coming out of it in all levels from the young to the older population.”
Silva believes that to get through this crisis, people need to help each other out, adding, “We should understand the value of genuine connection from a social support system and not be afraid to ask for help, especially when you need to.” – 8List.ph
