8 Perfectly Acceptable Excuses to Skip Out on an Election Debate
Mar 19, 2022 • Kel Fabie
Mar 19, 2022 • Kel Fabie
Now, now. We all know how important debates are during election season. It’s not for the benefit of the candidate so much as it’s for our benefit. It’s our opportunity to know the candidates, how they think, what their plans are, and if those things align with what we hold dear.
So is it a middle finger to all of us, then, when someone actively refuses to take part in a key component of the democratic process? Well, yes, it is. But sometimes, just sometimes, we need to admit that there are valid reasons when someone just can’t make it to a debate, and we have to let it slide. Reasons such as…
Let’s get the downer reason out of the way: if one of our candidates lost someone special to them, we would understand if they aren’t in the right mindset to attend a political debate. Family is family, and when something like that happens, it is simply a lot more important than attending a debate. Perfectly reasonable.
By “hostile territory,” we don’t mean the other candidates. Politics is a contact sport. If you don’t want your feelings to get hurt, maybe go play chess instead. But if the people running the debate are literally backing a specific candidate, then it should be obvious that you are walking into a trap. It’s just that such a level of blatant bias is a ridiculously high bar to clear, and most journalists accused of bias don’t actually come close to it.
Surely, when your friend asks you, “open-minded ka ba?” You have to come running and drop everything else. Gotta get that pairing bonus before it’s too late. Power!
Imagine if you were Bruce Wayne, and you were running for Mayor of Gotham. In the middle of a debate, you catch wind that The Joker is robbing a bank. The citizens of Gotham may not understand since they don’t know you’re Batman, but you’re the hero they deserve, not the one they need, or something like that.
Hmmm. Wonder if he actually has superpowers, or like Batman, he’s just stupid rich?
What if, in reality, you’re just an actor playing a candidate, who actually died years ago in a scuffle while studying abroad? Then surely, you have to bow out of any sort of debates because you’re just a double playing a role, right? Tsk.
Yes, it’s incredibly specific. But also valid.
By all means, don’t go to the debates anymore and pay up! Of course we all understand. That’s the kind of thing more people should be doing in their free time, y’know? Paying back stuff that they owe?
Get it? Get it? Buck-buck-bucka naman.
Got any more reasons in mind? Share ’em with us in the comments!
Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.
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