Making jokes isn’t easy. Thinking of a setup and then a punchline that most people in any given room can relate to while also being original about it is not exactly something just anyone can do. What makes it worse is that in coming up with topics most people can relate to, it’s easy to cross some unknown boundary of good taste and offend people in your audience, even if that was never your intention.

Well, heaven forbid that comedy pushes any boundaries and hurt or skewer anyone at all! After all, the great humorists of our rich past, from Mark Twain to Groucho Marx to Robin Williams to Jim Carrey absolutely never, ever made jokes at the expense of anyone, right? We already did this dance three times before, so we totally know.

Because karma is apparently digital, it’s so easy to for a cyber-lynch mob to get together and end your budding comedy career before it can ever get off the ground. All it takes is joking about the wrong topic. So here are the only 8 things we are allowed to still make fun of in 2023.

8. Ourselves

If we make jokes at our own expense, surely, nobody can be offended. So if we’re fat, in come the fat jokes! Asian? Asian stereotypes! Black? Black stereotypes! Whatever the jokes are, as long as they’re pointed at ourselves, then it’s absolutely fine!

7. Airline Food

What’s the deal with it, amirite? Airline food is such a safe topic to make jokes about — unless you have an airline owner in the audience. If that’s the case, time to specify your joke about the food from the other airline.

6. Animals

You know who can’t possibly be offended by our jokes, no matter how in poor taste they happen to be? Animals, that’s who. Besides, nobody said the jokes have to be at their expense. It can be just about them. Like how cats always want to murder you, or the cute and funny thing your pet dog did. D’awww. So wholesome!

5. Things We Can All Relate To

Political jokes are absolutely a no-no because apparently, there’s no punching up in comedy. We can’t make political jokes, because we keep electing them instead. So to bridge the political divide, let’s make jokes about things all sides of the political spectrum can agree on.

A few examples: the weather (as long as we don’t blame the government over it), the traffic (as long as we don’t blame the government over it), taxes (as long as we don’t blame the government over it), and the latest tourism slogan (as long as we don’t blame the government over it). See? Easy-peasy!

4. LGBTQ People

Wait, what? Yep, you read that right! Because apparently, some dudes want to make it a legal right. And surely, making fun of a minority is the easiest thing in the world to do, because if there’s more of us and less of them, then even if these minorities never go to one of our comedy shows, then who cares? We still got everyone else! Punching down suddenly makes so much more sense in the world when you realize they can’t actually fight back!

Up next: victims of horrific, trauma-inducing crimes! Telling them it’s their fault that this horrible thing happened to them is such a hilarious punchline that always works!

3. Atheists

Well, if we can’t make fun of religion (unless if it’s specifically not their religion we’re touching), then making fun of people without any religion should be easy. Considering that there are probably even less atheists in the Philippines than LGBTQ people, then surely, as far as minorities go, nobody’s more minor (wait, is that an oxymoron?) than the non-religious.

2. Fictional People

Because celebrities and famous people are absolutely off-limits in this magical world of comedy where we can’t punch up, then we can knock down people who don’t exist by a peg or two. Wanna poke fun at Winnie The Pooh? Have at it! Wanna put on a stereotypical Japanese accent as you repeat our new tourism slogan? It’s fine as long as the Japanese person doesn’t exist, and you don’t say that our president loves the Philippines very much with that accent, because our president does exist! Make jokes about a dinosaur? Sure! Dinosaurs don’t exist, so if anyone gets offended over a Tyrannosaurus Jr. joke, that’s being oversensitive.

1. Comedians

Expanding from poking fun at one’s self, making fun of comedians who are trying to make people laugh is totally cool. In fact, why stop at making jokes about us, right? Report us en masse, kill our livelihood, and threaten to literally kill us because you don’t like the kind of jokes we make instead of tuning us out.

Do comics make bad jokes? Of course. Do they make jokes in poor taste? Quite a few. But ultimately, the comic’s loyalty is to the entertainment of the audience — not to powerful and offended people who never even bother to watch a show, to begin with. Comedians make mistakes, and like everyone else, we live and we learn. Unfortunately, for some people, living and learning should never be an option for anyone who offends them.

Got any thoughts on un/acceptable joke topics in 2023? Share ’em in the comments!