Let’s face it: most of us right now probably don’t live a life that allows us to spend more money than most of us will ever know what to do within our entire lifespan, let alone 11 days. But we’re not jet-setters like them. We’re not magicians, either – or at least, not good enough to make 125 Million disappear just like that.

But if we really put our minds to it, we could try – and all it takes is 8 major purchases! And really, that’s all we could do at this point – imagine what we could be doing with that kind of money. And we don’t mean end hunger or solve some real crisis. Let’s think about me, me, and me and high-roll that money for a party of one.

8. A 4-Story Home In Quezon City: ₱35M

Let’s start with a significant purchase that accounts for over a fourth of our spending: an entire house.

Inasmuch as we wanted to get the top of the line for everything here, picking Quezon City was probably the most reasonable thing to do because a home in Makati’s well-to-do areas costs around ₱250M or more, and that’s completely out of our budget.

So ₱35 Million it is. Which, by the way, is enough to help 3,889 Filipinos survive for an entire month, but who cares about them, right?

7. An Hermes Birkin Bag: ₱21.1M

It’s not just any Hermes Birkin bag, mind you – it’s the same one Heart Evangelista showed off in Japan. Most Hermes bags start at around ₱1.7M, but this exquisite piece goes for over a dozen times that much. And now, we have one for ourselves, and even if some of us are dudes who would never have to buy an Hermes bag in our lives, we’ll take it.

At ₱1.1M per classroom, a single bag could actually translate to 19 whole classrooms built for about 30-50 students each in the Philippines, but why build classrooms for the future of our nation when you can buy an Hermes bag with that money? It’s not like we’re discussing how to hypothetically spend government funds here, right? Right?

6. A (Used) Ferrari 458 Italia: ₱17M

There are luxury cars, and then there’s a Ferrari. This single car is the equivalent of 425 motorcycles that could have been given to people who wanted to do Grab or Angkas as a side hustle to help their families, but no. It’s gotta be a Ferrari.

5. A (Used) 1990 Albin 40’ Trawler Yacht: ₱3.8M

How about a yacht, to complete the filthy rich lifestyle? Never mind that a single yacht could instead have been 100 fishing boats to provide for about as many families a decent livelihood across the archipelago, right?

4. A La-Z Boy Franchise: ₱10M

We could have gone with more surefire franchises here especially when you consider the fast food business, but when you’re splurging, it’s best to go for a luxury brand like La-Z Boy to make your point. And when that point is at ₱10M, it doesn’t matter, because La-Z Boy!

3. A (Used)  Robinson R44 Helicopter: ₱18M

At around $320K or so, the Robinson R44 Helicopter is the perfect compromise for luxury and a ₱125M budget not being enough for a private jet. We’re even getting a pre-loved version because we’re not monsters, so instead of the ₱19-20M you’d expect, we’re only going for around ₱18M. That’s also the amount you could spend to assure 4,500 people of treatment coverage for TB in the Philippines, which, despite all our advances in medical technology, still has a mortality rate of 51% in our country.

2. A logo change: ₱3M

Which logo? Who cares? Pick a logo, any logo! It’s a steal, right? So let’s do it again! Never mind that the average cost for a new logo from a skilled freelancer is usually around the ₱15K range, so you could have given 200 freelancers a good payday instead of one.

1. Fly to space: ₱14M

Why not? At $250,000 being the cheapest possible cost for this, you may as well fly to space if you managed to spend ₱125M in a mere eleven days, because in the normal world, someone would be suing you if that was not your personal money you spent that fast. But no, we’re no longer living in the normal world, so expect someone to tell us how wrong we are for pointing out just how ridiculous it really is to spend ₱125M in 11 (or even 19) days and to have nothing to show for it.

That ₱14M? It could have gone to about 16 kids who could have finished college in Ateneo De Manila for free instead of going to space – or wherever the heck all that money went, really.

And after all this spending, we actually still have ₱3.1M left over. With the lower end of rice going for around ₱36.73 per kilo and not ₱20, then you still had enough money for, oh, 84,400 kilos of rice, enough to feed an average of 293 families for an entire year. But again, who knows, right? We have no idea where that ₱3.1M is now, let alone the rest of the ₱125M.

What would you spend ₱125 million on?