For the average person of my generation, attending your high school homecoming is an anxiety-inducing experience. Unless you’re still actively in touch with your batchmates, it just becomes a game of who got hot, who got rich, and who got weird. It’s not exactly something one would look forward to, is what I’m saying.

And yet, I attended my batch homecoming last month, and it really made me see that it’s not as simple as I made it out to be in my mind. Here are just 8 of my realizations that hopefully, could help those of you still on the fence about attending your own batch homecoming…

8. Whatever it is holding you back, it’s not just you.

High school trauma? It’s not just you. Being bullied? It’s not just you. Impostor syndrome? It’s not just you. Trust me when I say this: whatever it is that is telling you not to go, you are not alone. That may not convince you about going or not going, but it helps to know that unless it involves crimes or alien abductions, then there is probably a kindred soul in your batch who knows exactly how you feel.

7. Your batch might be more self-aware than you credit it for.

Look. Nobody can force anyone who doesn’t want to attend their homecoming to go. But that doesn’t stop your batch organizers from being aware of the collective trauma and other similar issues going on in your batch and just flat-out addressing them head-on. You’re all 25 years removed from high school. If you still can’t be more inclusive and tolerant of each other after all that time, then you have bigger problems than your attendance rate.

My batch genuinely surprised me when they made it a point to make everyone feel welcome, while never once hard-selling the need to attend. And that made a huge difference.

6. Your batch bullies may not have just grown old but grown up, too.

To continue the surprises that absolutely took me aback, one of the bullies in my batch actually personally reached out to me to apologize. It was that contrite apology and willingness to take accountability that told me that we all have a right to move on from whatever we may have been back then. Whether you were the bully or the bullied, we are so much more than just that.

5. High school cliques no longer matter as much when you all have lower back pain.

Do you really think you’d be busy getting up to the stuff you used to do when you were still teenagers? Nope! You’d reminisce a bit, but inevitably, the conversation turns to maintenance medicine. Because of course it does. We’re old, guys.

4. Someone remembers you – and likely not the one you expect.

And hopefully, for the right reasons. When I openly spoke about past trauma and my reluctance to attend, a batchmate I wasn’t particularly close to actually messaged me privately, and we just connected. Both of us weren’t keen on going for the same reasons, but as we kept in touch and grew closer, next thing we knew, I was there, and he flew all the way from the UK to be there, too. And we made it a point to meet up before the homecoming itself. A new friend from an old group? Who knew that was possible?

It feels good to be acknowledged. Let yourself be surprised and find out the things people remember you for. At least, it went beyond just being the teacher’s pet.

3. The ones who organize these things tend to have one thing in common.

For the most part, these guys were the ones who count their high school days among their glory days. Whether there were many more glory days after or there were none, the ones who generally stay home would probably want to watch the homecoming from the outside looking in, with popcorn in hand. It’s a valid spectator sport, is what I’m saying.

2. The teachers are the true stars of the night.

I actually stepped out of the homecoming before it finished because I couldn’t bear to see the “In Memoriam” section. One of my mentors, my English teacher for both 1st year and 2nd year high, passed away during the height of Ondoy. Every single milestone in my life, I would have gladly shared with her — but I couldn’t. Which is why we can’t help but cling even tighter to our teachers who were in attendance. Because they truly deserve their flowers.

1. Maybe, just maybe, high school trauma loses its power over time.

Time truly heals all wounds, but this isn’t one size fits all. Whether or not you decide to go to your high school homecoming, you owe it to yourself to decide for yourself — not because you allowed yourself to be guilted into it. I am grateful that my batch made sure to make it as easy as possible for all of us, but I am even more grateful that at no point did they force me to go. I chose to willingly, and it was an experience worth having.

Whether or not you feel the same, in the end, while homecoming isn’t all about you, your choice to go or not to go absolutely is.

Would you go/have you gone to your high school reunion? Tell us about the experience in the comments!

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