8 Over-The-Top Overreactions About The Dong-Yan Wedding
Jan 6, 2015 • Kel Fabie
Jan 6, 2015 • Kel Fabie
[dropcap letter=”D”]espite being classmates with one of them way back in college, I’ve never been a fan of Dingdong Dantes or Marian Rivera as actors, let alone as a tandem. They never really captured my imagination, and the one film I’ve seen them in together, “You To Me Are Everything,” didn’t really inspire awe in me over their acting prowess.
Sometime last week, I heard they got married. I wouldn’t have realized that, if it weren’t for the incessant furor over the wedding on my social media timelines.
Which leads me to ask: what the hell, guys?!? Are we really going to waste that much energy on them just because it’s cool to hate on two people who are promising to love each other until death, whether or not they can actually live up to that promise? Or did we just move on to the next wedding to picket after Aiza Seguerra and Liza Dino finished theirs with little to no incident?
I can’t believe I’m defending Dingong and Marian of all people, but here are 8 signs people took the Marian-Dingdong wedding a little more seriously than they should have…
Reality Check: Show of hands. How many married people here decided to forego an actual wedding and have the money raised for their wedding donated to charity instead? Not too many people, huh? Then maybe we can stop being hypocrites about it and let people have the dream wedding they wanted. Ideally, they’re going to do it only once in their life, after all.
Furthermore, the wedding does not preclude Marian or Dingdong from doing anything for charity. Which, aside from Dingdong’s well-documented activism for the kids of fallen soldiers, they literally did with their wedding gifts.
Reality Check: Remember the house of the so-called “Lord of Scents?” Remember how controversial it was? Well, how does that in any way compare to this wedding? This wedding was likely sponsored to the nines, if that gigantic cake *cough*Goldilocks*cough* was any indication. Unlike the Lord of Scents mansion, Marian and Dingdong didn’t gain a questionable permit from Camp John Hay to get married.
Also, have they considered the possibility that the sheer amount of money spent on the wedding meant not a few people had pretty good paychecks for that week? It’s not like all that money went into a vacuum.
Reality Check: You also watched it, so you share in the blame of having this drivel foisted upon you. This will be no different from the Chiz-Heart wedding they would no doubt telecast sometime next month. Yes, it’s a media circus, but here’s a tip: you can turn the TV off and stay away from something that will just annoy you. That’s exactly what I did.
Besides, if I had to take my pick of media circuses, I’d rather see two people in wedded bliss than Kris Aquino bawling her eyes out over her latest breakup. Again.
Reality Check: Except they’re not politicians, so even if they hypothetically spent for the entire wedding out of their own pockets, it’s their money, and we don’t get to dictate to them how to spend it. All tackiness aside, which of us would really turn down having a huge wedding if money were no object? And even if we did turn something like that down, who are we to criticize other people for choosing otherwise? Again, it’s their wedding and their money, not ours.
Now, when Chiz gets married, by all means, make sure to check the books for that one, since he’s a politician. But Dong-Yan? The only way they would be politicians would be if they were crazy enough to run and we were stupid enough to vote for them.
Reality Check: Wait, what? This was really an argument?
Let’s get one thing straight here: where is the line drawn between thoughtless extravagance and not thoughtless extravagance? Is there a monetary limit set for this? If there is none, then isn’t this merely being subjective and singling out this wedding because it got all the media attention?
As poor as the country is, you can’t genuinely say we are in a state of calamity or that our economy is any worse than it was when the Asian financial crisis hit us in the late ‘90s. If anything, we’ve been having it better, and the fact people are blogging and tweeting to whine about this issue instead of, y’know, picketing it says everything you need to say about that level of short-sightedness.
Reality Check: Does this mean she shouldn’t have the wedding of her dreams if she can afford it? I mean, all the issues about them initially getting together has clearly been forgotten by now, even by the now-happily married Karylle Tatlonghari-Yuzon, right?
Also, think about this: when was the last time Marian Rivera got in an actual controversy? She hasn’t had a real, honest-to-goodness fight since what? 2011?
Reality Check: Yes. Yes, it was. But that’s no reason to tell them to call the wedding off. Hopefully, you didn’t expect any credit for making an obvious statement that was obvious.
Reality Check: It isn’t like President Aquino decided at the last minute to attend Marian and Dingdong’s wedding. He was invited a long time ago, and as people on schedules are wont to do, they show up where they promise to show up when they promise to show up. That’s really just the harsh reality of opportunity costs. The president can’t be in two places at the same time, unless he has some secret super power he never told us about.
On the other hand, if he did show up, we would shift the goalposts and just say he’s acting like a trapo epal, much like we did during the 2012 monsoon. The man can’t win.
I don’t have to be a fan of PNoy to point out that the president, for all his power, can only do so many things at the same time. Just ask his PS4.
Thoughts on #DongYan? Share ’em in the comments section below!
Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.
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