8 Lame Excuses People Use to Not Wear a Condom (and How to Respond)
Feb 14, 2020 • Alex Alvarez
Here’s a few facts that should leave you shookt: in the Philippines, around 500 teenage girls give birth every day. HIV cases are on the rise, with the number of new infections in the country more than doubling. These figures show us the importance of safe sex. Many times, that means using a condom. Unlike other forms of contraception, condoms don’t just protect couples from unwanted pregnancies (with a 98% effectivity rate), but also STDs (so just because you’re not at risk of getting pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t have to use protection). But according to a recent survey, only one out of 10 Filipinos use protection when having sex. Why is that?
Here, we take a look at the most common excuses to not wear a condom — and what you can say in response.
“It feels better without one.”
Did you know that people who wear condoms are said to last longer in bed? Also, there are ultra-thin condoms and textured condoms that are designed to increase pleasure. Shop around and have fun with the different variants!
Response: “You know what feels better? Having no STDs.”
“They don’t fit me.”
Some men say that their penises are too large for normal condoms, but there’s a very, very small chance that this is true. Just so you know, condoms stretch and can hold a gallon of water. If your partner’s penis is really too large for typical condoms, try ordering the XL variants.
Response: Send them the GIF above.
“I can always pull out.”
Around 1 in 5 people who use the pull-out method get pregnant every year. You really wanna take that chance? Also, this method does absolutely nothing to protect you from STDs.
Response: “You know what they call people who use the pull-out method? Parents.”
“I’m allergic.”
To be fair, some people really are allergic to latex. But there are alternatives to latex condoms. Some are synthetic (polyisoprene, polyurethane, or polyethylene), while others use animal products like lambskin. Do your research!
Response: “Just because you’re allergic doesn’t mean you can’t use condoms.” Then show them online shopping links to non-latex condoms (or better yet, buy some yourself).
“I don’t know how to put one on.”
Knowing the sorry state of our country’s sex education, this might actually be true, and not just another lame excuse. In that case, there are plenty of resources out there to help you learn how to properly use condoms. Here are the basics:
- After making sure that the condom isn’t expired, open the foil package of your condom, being careful not to tear the condom (i.e. don’t use your teeth!)
- Make sure that the condom is the right way round. It should look like a sombrero on your palm, not a beanie.
- With the tip of the condom between your forefinger and thumb, place it over the penis, leaving some space between the head of the penis and the condom for the ejaculate/semen. Roll the condom down the entire shaft, not letting go until it’s completely rolled down.
- After use, use your hand to firmly take hold of the condom’s base while you take it off. Then, wrap it up in toilet paper and throw it in the trash. You could also tie a knot to make sure it doesn’t leak.
Response: “Let’s figure it out together.”
“I don’t have any.”
Condoms are available at groceries, convenience stores, pharmacies, and online. This is a terrible excuse.
Response: “May 7-11 lang dyan sa kanto.”
“Buying one is too embarrassing.”
SEX IS NORMAL. THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. AND USING CONDOMS IS RESPONSIBLE. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.
Glad we’ve gotten that out of our system. Now, if taking a trip to your nearest convenience store to get yourself some condoms still seems too awkward, you might be relieved to find out that brands like Durex have made condoms accessible by letting you purchase condoms online. They even offer a “privacy guaranteed packaging” option that has condoms packed in “discreet books” that actually look like books from the outside, so you don’t have to feel dyahe anymore.
Response: “SEX IS NORMAL. THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF…” Etc. Etc.
“It ruins the moment.”
Once you get used to using condoms, it’ll feel like an organic part of sex. Diskarte lang yan, condoms can be sexy! Plus, it’ll just take a few seconds, which is a small price to pay for protection.
Response: “Worrying about unprotected sex will ruin the moment even more.”
At the end of the day, it’s important that we show our loved ones the respect that they deserve. Make them feel protected this Valentine’s season.
Have a happy and safe National Condom Day!
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