2016 is coming and we’re dreading it, knowing that most of our candidates aren’t particularly stellar.

I’m trying to welcome it with open arms, if only for the off-chance we might see ridiculous portmanteaus for the people who decide to be running mates in 2016. Keep your fingers crossed that we may see hilarious tandems such as…

8. Gregorio Honasan, II and Rock Drilon

Gringo-Rock!

Possible Slogan/Jingle: Gringo, Gringo, Gringo-Rock, Gringo, Gringo, Gringo-Rock…

7. Kim Henares and Ramon Revilla, Jr.

One is the current head of the BIR while the other is an incarcerated senator that is accused of plundering all the money the BIR collects. They’re a match made  in heaven. Together, they are…

BIR-Bong!

Possible Slogan/Jingle: 99 bottles of BIR on the Bong, 99 bottles of BIR…

6. Ernesto Maceda and Freddie Webb

One is a former Senator and MTRCB Chief. The other is a former senator and one of the best point guards in the history of Philippine basketball. Together, they are…

Manong-Guard!

Possible SLogan/Jingle: Kay Manong-Guard, siguradong mababantayan ang progress!

5. Vice Ganda and Manny Pacquiao

One is  an outspoken showbiz personality who probably has an interesting and likely progressive agenda, while the other is one of the greatest boxers of all time with a  clearly conservative agenda. They may clash, but they will also complement each other. Together, they are…

Petra-Pac!

Possible Jingle/Slogan:Para sa iyo ang laban ng Petra-Pac! Boom panes! Boom boom panes panes!

4. Ralph Recto and Loren Legarda

One is the Senator responsible for VAT, and married to Vilma Santos. The other is a Senator who has tried running a bunch of times for Vice President to no avail. Together, their roads intersect as…

Recto-Legarda!

Possible Jingle/Slogan: Sa biyahe ng buhay, sasabayan kayo ng Recto-Legarda!

3. Grace Poe and Kiko Pangilinan

One is currently the leading candidate according to surveys to take it all in 2016. The other is Sharon Cuneta’s husband. Together, they boldly go where most men wish to go…

Poe-Kiko!

Possible Jingle/Slogan: Poe-Kiko ay narito, naghihintay sa pagboto niyo…

2. Dick Gordon and Chiz Escudero

One is a former Senator, current Red Cross Chairman, and one of the best tourism secretaries of all time. The other is the kingmaker most claim to be responsible for the success of Noy-Bi in 2010, and recently married to Heart Evangelista. Together, they do the hard things as…

Dick-Chiz!

Possible Jingle/Slogan: Finally, Dick-Chiz happened to me, one vote lang, aangat ang Pinas, 2016!

1. Jejomar Binay and Aquilino Pimentel, Jr.

One is a frontrunner for the 2016 elections. The other is a former Senate President with a stellar track record that includes fighting Martial Law during the Marcos regime. Together, watch them…

Bi-Nene!

Possible Slogan/Jingle: Now watch us win, watch us, Bi-Nene! Now watch us win, win, watch us, Bi-Nene!