4. She believes in healing and cooperation.

In an interview shortly after it became clear President Duterte won the elections, Mocha was quoted as saying: “bayan muna bago ang negosyo,” and urged critics to stop whining and simply help out the incoming President since he was elected, and that is the will of the people.

It should come as no surprise then that she extended the same call for unity for Vice President Leni Robredo, who won in the same election Mocha insists was fairly won by Digong.

Because heaven forbid a government as incompetent as Noynoy’s suddenly becomes hyper-competent enough to actually rig the elections so precisely in favor of Leni to the point that not a single credible piece of evidence could be used as grounds for an electoral protest, right?

Pictured: a call for unity, and not a cry for attention.

By the way: Leni Robredo was born in Naga, Camarines Sur, which is in Bicol. Bicol is called “Region 5.” The Roman number symbol for “5” is “V.” Guess who uses “V” as a political sign.

Coincidence? I think not.

3. She is a reliable ally.

For the pro-RH among us, Mocha Uson was a true ally who was on our side, reminding people that no matter how many times you slut-shamed, her rhetoric was unimpeachable. When she turned her advocacy towards supporting President Duterte, countless allies discovered just how great it is to have her on their side. Like Liza Dino.

With friends like Mocha Uson, who needs enemies?

By the way: Nostradamus predicted Duterte’s presidency.

Coincidence?…You know the rest.

2. She knows the President is never wrong.

While Raffy Tima was defending his wife from President Duterte’s catcalling, many people simply rolled their eyes at him because how dare he defend his wife, right? Hasn’t he heard of prima nocta?

Well, Mocha Uson sure set him straight. Serves you right for defending your wife!

Pictured: nitpicking, because Digong is always right. If Digong is ever wrong, that’s just nitpicking.

By the way: Raffy Tima is married to Mariz Umali. Mariz Umali’s brother is Don Umali, my blockmate from Ateneo, batch 2004. Noynoy Aquino was also from Ateneo. Coincidence? I think not.

1. Her Facebook Page says it all.

Come on, guys: her Facebook Page is called “Mocha Uson BLOG.” What more proof do you need that this is truly someone who knows what she’s doing, right? After all, isn’t she just like the rest of us keyboard warriors? Sitting at home, typing in our underwear?

Pictured: One of us! One of us!

In the end, whether she credits Digong for something good before his term started, or she refuses to accept Digong’s influence in something bad because his term has yet to start, Nation, you can be sure that Mocha Uson is exactly the kind of journalist we deserve.

By the way: This 8List has exactly 1,266 words. This is my 255^th article for the site. 1,266 plus 255 is 1521. In 1521, the Philippines was discovered by Ferdinand Magellan. This 8List could not be more patriotic if it wore a monkey-eating eagle as a hat while eating adobo and playing “Lupang Hinirang.” Coincidence? I think not.

What your reasons for believing in Mocha Uson?

Pages: 1 2