In recent days, a movie involving a kid sending a letter to Santa with a critical misspelling and a movie about a desaparecido both got rated “X” by the MTRCB. And yes, the reasoning behind rating both films is pretty nuts.

With the MTRCB also wanting to stretch its jurisdiction all the way to streaming media (ohai, Lucifer!), it’s pretty clear that the rating body believes it knows best when it comes to telling the Filipino public what types of visual media it can and cannot view, and they’re willing to let their personal beliefs dictate those terms, even if freedom of expression and religion are both enshrined in the highest law of the land.

So with how our current MTRCB is acting up, how do you think some older movies we allowed to go through without any incident would end up this time under their watchful eye? Well, here are just a few of those films we expect would have gotten the axe. Films such as…

8. Little Nicky (2000)

The Justification: Satan cannot be good, much less have a son with an angel.

If Dear Satan stood no chance, this Adam Sandler flick has absolutely no business being in the cinemas! The son of Satan, all endearing and with a speech impediment? Played by Adam Sandler, no less, one of the most endearing and charismatic comedic actors of our time, thus transferring all that charisma unto the son of Satan?!? This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

7. Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

The Justification: Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, not a rock star with a fantastic vocal range.

Look. We already banned The Last Temptation Of Christ here, because how dare Martin Scorsese paint a picture of Christ as anything but perfect. In contrast, JCS turns Jesus Christ into a singing mess, trivializing his ultimate sacrifice and message to us that we, uhh, sing about in church every Sunday. But that’s different, okay? Totally not the same! This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

6. Wreck-It-Ralph (2012)

The Justification: “I’m bad and that’s good, I will never be good and that’s not bad, there’s no one I’d rather be than me”

Seriously? We will teach kids that it’s okay to be bad and that the bad guy can be the good guy? Good is good, evil is evil, and the twain shall ne’er meet! This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

5. Bobo Cop (1988)

The Justification: Our policemen deserve our utmost respect, and we cannot make fun of our future robotics industry before it even gets off the ground.

Joey Marquez might think it’s hilarious to make fun of our police, but they’re anything but “bobo.” They are fine, intelligent, and upstanding agents of the long arm of the law who have never, ever done anything stupid. On top of that, let us also encourage robotics in the country.

This movie came out 26 years ago, and surely, we’d have been a powerhouse in technology by now if this film had not corrupted the minds of the next generation by making fun of robotics. This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

4. Temptation Island (1980 and 2011)

The Justification: We must never glorify temptation and sin enough to name an island after it.

Softer iterations of the MTRCB may have allowed such a travesty twice, but if they had their chance today, neither of these films would have seen the light of day. It’s one thing to acknowledge the existence of sin and temptation, but it’s another thing to celebrate it by calling an island by it.

An island of temptation is something that will undermine the values of this country and surely make our youth wanton hedonists with no regard for what is good. This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

3. Pepsi, Where’s My Jet? (2022)

The Justification: Casting very honorable, reputable men in a bad light.

This may be a documentary, but if given the chance, such a baseless, accusatory, and ultimately damaging web of lies should never be allowed to be viewed. This documentary’s subject matter and content are so objectionable that we have to bring it up even if it’s not actually a movie. We need to respect institutions, and we need to respect the people who built these institutions, brick by brick.

Oh. This is about the softdrink? This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

2. Captain Barbell (2003)

The Justification: Evil people cannot be heroes.

In one of the key scenes in this film, the character Dagampatay, played by Epi Quizon, is given a sympathetic arc. This, is despite him being one of the villains that Captain Barbell has to dispatch. Again, we cannot make villains sympathetic. In doing so, we glorify evil people.

Yes, we meant Dagampatay. Were you thinking about Captain Barbell himself because he’s played by Bong Revilla? That’s not what we meant! This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children?

1. Spotlight (2015)

The Justification: The Roman Catholic church does WHAT to children? No way!

How could we say such a thing about the religion that makes up nearly 90% of the entire country?!? Surely, this kind of slander on such a fine institution would be unacceptable. This is unthinkable! Will someone think of the children (but not in that way)?

What other older films should have made this list?

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of 8List.ph.