And just like that, the most talked-about season of Pinoy Big Brother in recent years is down to its last two weeks.

I was just as seated as anyone the past few days, eating it up as the ex-housemates return as house challengers. I was so stoked for the drama and the feelings! Then their battles happened, and I was underwhelmed. There just wasn’t anything at stake for the house challengers to actually try to win these battles, so of course, they felt short.

Save for the heartrending moment between Klarisse and Will, none of it I found compelling. But it’s okay, I thought. There’s a confrontation being cooked later on in an attempt to bring out the final five duos’ true selves, so let me check that out. Maybe that’ll do the trick.

Unfortunately, it didn’t. While these panel interviews were at a few points intense enough to give me insane college org application flashbacks, while watching the episodes, I kept thinking, “PBB used to be wilder than this.”

And yes, sure, these episodes solidified who I want to leave next, but they also made me realize that this batch will be remembered as a very kumbaya, well-behaved set of housemates. And yes, we love them for that, but also, they had to tackle very lackluster tasks compared to seasons past, didn’t they?

To prove that PBB Celebrity Collab Edition is such a wholesome and tame season, let’s take a trip down memory lane on some of the most insane moments in the show’s history.

8. Keanna Reeves pees in the garden, BB comes out

Klarisse’s coming out this season was so lovely to watch ,and it shows how far we’ve come. It also reminds me, of course, of the first time something like it happened inside the house.

Long before BB Gandanghari’s transition, she joined PBB in hopes of reintroducing herself to the public after years away from the public eye. The former action star and 90’s heartthrob was having a heart-to-heart talk with Keanna Reeves in the garden. They’ve been there for quite a while and Keanna desperately had to use the toilet, but knowing that BB was about to share something very important, she didn’t leave her side and decided to just do her business there.

Moments later, the first televised coming-out in the history of Philippine reality TV happened, a landmark moment for queer representation in the local media. And yes, it started with Keanna peeing behind a bush, because what BB had to say couldn’t wait.

7. Basketballs to prevent masturbation

I miss the times when PBB’s resident psychologist would sometimes give insight into what the housemates were going through. I don’t know when that stopped, but I certainly remember him talking about why the boys of Teen Edition 1 approached Kuya in the confession room for help. The trouble? They are teenagers with raging hormones and there are cameras everywhere. Kuya’s solution? Give them some basketballs and make them divert their energy there!

In all fairness to the show, sex education was never a thing on Primetime TV. The fact that they gave this concern that’s very relevant to teens the airtime it needed was pretty impressive.

6. Ethel Booba asks Kuya for a pregnancy test kit

Actually, just Ethel Booba’s whole presence, period. If you knew her from her time in GMA’s Extra Challenge, you’d know she’s reality TV gold. Her run as Kuya’s housemate in Celebrity Edition 2 was no exception. She was pretty solid with the tasks, she was very entertaining, and she gave insane reality TV.

Who else had asked Big Brother for a pregnancy test kit three weeks into the season? Who else had threatened production that she’d break out of the house, and do it while playing with a razor? No one but her.

5. A pig gives birth in the garden

Aside from the no-speaking and photo-taking weeks, Collab Edition’s weekly tasks have all been comparatively lame. Because what do you mean the housemates of Celebrity Edition 1 had to spend their first weeks with nothing but indigenous tools, washing their hair with gugo, brushing their teeth with twigs?

And in Celebrity Edition 2, the housemates literally had to take care of a pregnant pig named Peggy and help it give birth. And give birth it did, on primetime television! Hell, Maymay and her batch of teenagers had to undergo a full-on military training, but this season we were treated to the thrill of stacking things up? Budget cuts, I guess.

4. DNA test

The “Teleserye ng totoong buhay” tagline has never felt truer than when Kuya helped facilitate a teen housemate’s DNA test and made her meet her biological mother for the first time inside the house.

My Big Winner last season, Kai, had a solid arc surrounding her true parentage. It was emotional and heartfelt, and she displayed such an impressive level of emotional maturity. When she met her birth mother for the first time, and told her all was forgiven?

When she told her, she understood why she had to be given away? When she shared dinner with her and the woman who raised her? It’s the type of drama that’s so Filipino and makes PBB distinct from international iterations.

3. Alex gets circumcised inside the house

Alex Anselmuccio from Teen Edition Plus learned the meaning of the word ‘supot’ and it prompted him to confess to Big Brother that he was never circumcised because it’s not a common thing in Italy.

Naturally, Kuya obliged and facilitated Alex’s circumcision inside the house. But not to worry, Alex. Your fellow male housemates will be there with you during the operation while some murder mystery music plays in the background!

2. The Mother of all PBB Pool Parties

If you think ShuKla jumping in the pool and AZ drunkenly calling Ralph’s name were wild, you haven’t really seen a proper PBB party.

We can’t finish this list without giving a special shout-out to the mother of all PBB parties, the iconic pool party from Season 1. Remember those kisses that got MTRCB wanting to pull the plug on the show? Cass and Uma, Sam and Chx, Cass and Nene! (Which I believe was the first kiss between two women on Philippine reality TV!)

I’m not saying every season should have a moment as controversial as this one, but to me this was how PBB officially established itself as a show that’s able to push the envelope and challenge conventions.

1. Nene defies Kuya

During the Big Tapatan, the house challengers called out Charlie for saying “kainis” as a response to Kuya. She was being disrespectful, they said. And to that I say, we are losing the ancient texts!

Lest we forget, the first-ever and, in my book, the Big Winner of all Big Winners is still Kumander Nene Tamayo, and she got our vote exactly because she was brave enough to call Kuya’s bs and we were all with her. She pulled a Katniss Everdeen before The Hunger Games was a thing.

When she told Kuya that she and the rest of the housemates would leave if Jason was leaving Kuya had to resort to gaslighting them, saying stuff like “It was just a test. Di n’yo pa pala ko kilala.” Boo-hoo.

If there’s anything I don’t particularly like about some of the duos I’m most fond of this season, it’s that they are all about obeying Big Brother and not even daring to question anything he says or asks, even if they were questionable. (Shuvee under the sun?) I mean, sure, Kuya is unlike other iterations of the character in the franchise because he’s more loving and has a sense of humor.

But this characterization always falls through at one point or another because eventually, he’ll have to do all sorts of stuff to play with the housemates’ psyche to elicit a TV-worthy response. And sometimes, he’ll cross the line.

I wanna see a new Big Winner who speaks truth to power again.

PS
Congratulations, CharEs and RaWi, for making it to the Big 4!