8 Types of Pinoy Online Product Reviews That Prove We're the Worst At It

Anyone who has browsed through online purchase reviews will know that it’s a jungle out there. You’ll never know if you’ll get a decent review of the actual product or unrelated (and bizarre) comments coupled with sketchy photos. We’re just gonna go ahead and say it — Pinoys are horrible at reviewing products. Do we blame the incentivized reviewing system that demands customers to rate the products ASAP in exchange for coins or points? Or do we blame the customer’s laziness? Either way, here are the 8 types of Pinoys who make online product reviews.

The lyricist

This type of customer isn’t afraid to get creative with hitting that word count and getting those coins. Their method of choice? Typing the lyrics to their most recent LSS. In the case above, it’s Taylor Swift’s iconic All Too Well (that better be the 10-minute version).

To top it off, some attach unrelated videos and pictures for maximum benefits:

The actual product “reviewed” here is a face mask.

Involving their K-pop idols

Missed opportunity: Detailing how the item was damaged.

Unless the product is K-pop related, we do not need to see screenshots and videos of idols in the review section. There’s stan Twitter for that. What’s EXO’s Park Chanyeol doing under a product for face masks? Clearly, these people take advantage of their vast K-pop photo library to get free coins.

Idea: How about a photo of the shoe bag you ordered instead of random K-pop idols?

I guess we have no choice but to stream.

Praising the courier

This is nice but the courier won’t see this comment. Other buyers, however, will.

PSA: E-commerce companies like Lazada and Shopee employ a third party for deliveries. That means your kuya J&T, Gogo Express, Ninja Van, or whatever else is not related to the seller. While commenting about the delivery speed is helpful, saying that the courier was “handsome” or “kind” isn’t. (This isn’t the proper avenue to praise them!) TBH, we would rather hear about how the product worked or didn’t work for you.

Kudos to the courier who knocked on her door.

Getting educational and inspirational

Why write a detailed review of how the product worked for you when you can post nonsense and still get your cashback? Some people prefer to educate the masses and put random paragraphs in there while others took it upon themselves to be the inspiration fellow customers need.

The photo and video of a peace sign really sold it.

The galit na galit

Sometimes online purchases disappoint us and leaving a scathing review is the only way we can express our frustration. Like the all-caps raging review above. Sure, it was helpful (will definitely consider purchasing from actual pet shops), but I felt like I was the one being yelled at. Bakit parang kasalanan ko?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this customer is angry.

The random copy pasters

Bibili ka lang ng shorts mapapa-bake ka pa.

The effort it took to look up a recipe for Homemade Choco Butternut Crinkles could’ve been spent typing a decent review but nooo. These people would rather take the longer route.

Now we’re curious what these requirements are for.

The “honest” reviewers

This type of customer doesn’t have time for pretenses. They go straight to the point: “I’m writing this for the coins so deal with it.” Hey, thanks for being honest. Glad you go that off your chest. But you could’ve channeled that honesty into a review and hit the same word count but it’s whatever, right?

The opportunista advertisers

Gotta take advantage of all the eyeballs on that review page.

Just when you thought you’ve seen all sorts of crazy reviews, some will still surprise you. There are folks ~~shameless~~ confident enough to start advertising their products through a review. And why not? A lot of people browse through review pages and now they’ll be curious about that random advertisement and maybe check the reviewer’s shop out.