8 Signs You’re Turning Into Bitter Ocampo and Desperate del Valle

More often than not, longtime single people will always say that they’ve been single by choice. Sometimes, they mean this. Other times, not so much. In time for the horrors of Halloween, here are the horrors encountered by people who really hate having been too single for too long.

8. You keep knocking happy couples

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If “maghihiwalay din iyan” escapes your lips more often than you’d care to count, you might not be so happy about being single so much as you’re bitterly wishing everybody else is.

7. You think the Globe customer service hotline girl or guy has a “hot” voice.

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You keep calling them on the daily, because you really want to keep hearing them tell you “sorry for that” while you imagine how they look like. Also, you’re actually subscribed to Smart, not to Globe.

6. Every little thing in life becomes a #Hugot moment for you.

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We laugh at people who do this because we hope to never be so broken and jaded, tulad na lang ng naramdaman natin nung inawan tayo ng letseng Jonalyn na yan (mamatay na siya sana).

5. You’re swiping right at EVERYONE.

Not psycho at all!

This isn’t a raffle where more entries means more chances of winning. Have some standards for yourself.

4. You’re beginning to think of entering the vocational life.

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If being unlucky with love is the reason you want to be a priest or a nun, you really don’t have the proper motivation for this. Think of the children (insert very inappropriate joke here)!