Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have allegedly ended their six-year romance and the whole world is in total disbelief. It’s either a belated April Fool’s prank or an attempt to distract everyone from leaking future Taylor’s Version albums. At present, however, things feel very real. According to CNN, Taylor and Joe “simply grew apart but plan to remain close friends.” Meanwhile, some sources say Joe “struggled with Taylor’s level of fame.”

Whatever the real reason is for this alleged breakup (we’re waiting for Taylor to confirm), Swifties aren’t listening. Here are the funniest tweets from folks who refuse to believe that Swifties are now, once again, children of divorce.

Same old, same old

Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn got enganged 67 times & broken up 15, according to ET and Sun.

— Nils Sjöberg (fan acc.) (@icantunseeit) April 8, 2023

Year after year, the rumor mill has always churned out breakup rumors, pregnancy scares, marriage proposals, and other relationship milestones about the two. It’s no surprise this one might be a fluke too!

She’s only testing those around her

imagine if taylor swift wanted to test someone’s loyalty so she lied and told them she had broken up with her bf to see if the media would end up finding about it

— liya 👵🏽 (@aathena10) April 9, 2023

Honestly, we wouldn’t put it past Taylor to do something this elaborate to weed out fake friends. This could be her ultimate test to find out who’s loyal and who’s not, especially since a lot of her upcoming music has been leaked recently.

Or it’s a promo for her next album release

and when taylor swift posts a picture with joe alwyn and the caption being “Ain’t it funny? Rumors fly… oh and by the way, 1989 (taylor’s version) is out now!” pic.twitter.com/CTekCUh70W

— jojo (@taymastermind) April 9, 2023

Again, wouldn’t put it past Taylor’s big brain to pull something like this. We’re just waiting for her to say “Sike!”

The AI bots don’t agree

🚨 CASE CLOSED: Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn are still together. pic.twitter.com/kmTle8twgl

— a! (taylor’s version) (@lavenderhazard) April 9, 2023

Artificial Intelligence is making headlines this year for being such a powerful tool that could someday replace humans. But if these all-knowing bots say that Taylor and Joe haven’t broken up yet, they must know something we don’t. In conclusion: The pair is very much still together.

Joe must’ve seen the tweets

joe trying to convince taylor why they should fake breakup so he doesn’t have to deal with the “can joe alwyn fight” tweets for the rest of the eras tour pic.twitter.com/TonlpPVPW9

— manahil 💛💛 kinda ia (@manonahilI) April 10, 2023

Since Taylor kicked off her Eras Tour, Joe’s name has never left the trending list on Twitter. And a fake breakup must be his PR team’s twisted way of dealing with the “can Joe Alwyn fight” trend.

Discredit the source

“Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have broken up, ET reports” the fuck does he know pic.twitter.com/wloHH3afdx

— roro 🫧 (@edacIawthorne) April 8, 2023

Oh, ET said Taylor and Joe broke up? What does that little alien know?

Joe Alwyn’s DNA is embedded in a ton of Taylor Swift songs

daily reminder, that joe alwyn was co-writer of exile, betty, champagne problems, coney island, evermore and now sweet nothing. pic.twitter.com/oQ9sjGkFWK

— WILDEST DREAMS HAHA 🧣 (@swiftoursonggg) April 9, 2023

Joe has co-written for a number of Taylor Swift tracks in the past including “Gorgeous,” “Betty,” and “Exile.” Most recently, his pseudonym William Bowery is credited for co-writing “Sweet Nothing,” a ballad on Taylor’s latest album, Midnights. Here’s a lyric snippet:

“They said the end is coming
Everyone’s up to something
I find myself running home to your sweet nothings
Outside, they’re push and shoving
You’re in the kitchen humming
All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing”

Read the lyrics, listen to the song, weep over it. How can they write this line and break up? Impossible.

Because Taylor herself has said it

@.taylorswiftscat respect her privacy signs!! All that should matter is taylor is okay ❤️#paristaylorswift #taylorswiftandjoealwynbreakup @taylorswift ♬ original sound – erin

Taylor and Joe have been very private about their relationship from the start to the point where fans have to overanalyze song lyrics just to get a glimpse of their life as a couple. So if Swifties believed in the swoon-worthy lyrics of “Cornelia Street” or “New Year’s Day,” they should also believe in the lyrics from “Paris” off of Midnights:

“Privacy sign on the door,
And on my page and on the whole world
Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours”

Ergo, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn are still together. We’d like to believe they’re scrolling on social media as we speak and laughing about the Internet meltdown they’ve caused.

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