New Guinness Record

If your goal in life is to get the Guinness record for the longest person to sit in a toilet, well I’m sorry because someone beat you to it. Belgian Jimmy De Frenne sat on a toilet seat for 116 hours, short of his goal of 165 hours because he got too sleepy. What a slacker.

Aegis Made Me Do it

A drunk woman was arrested in Iloilo after causing a stir at a club. While detained, she started to sing along to the karaoke favorite “Halik” while twerking. She may have has some sick moves but she will also have a sick hangover the next day.

Penguins On The Run

Yes, you read that right, cute squishy penguins were arrested because of loitering! Two penguins were arrested after they were caught loitering outside a sushi restaurant. The owner of the restaurant suspects that the reason why the penguins keep coming back is not because of the sashimi, but because they were seeking the warmth of the grills at the back of the restaurant.

Area Fifty What?!

In an effort to come face to face with aliens, people are now signing up to raid Area 51. Area 51 is not open to the public and is under 24-hour surveillance, but that is not going to stop Netizens from going to see them, Aliens! In case you want to join this out of this world event, it will happen on September 20. Don’t forget to say goodbye to your loved ones.

Hit ‘Em Up

Don’t let the Westside ride tonight, is what the director of Iowa’s social services agency will say after he was caught sending the lyrics of Tupac’s songs to over 4,300 employees. After his resignation, Director Jerry Foxhoven’s emails were released by the agency and it was full of references to Tupac’s songs.

via GIPHY

Smelly Situation

If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a 💩 day. #TuesdayThoughts 🚓 #ItHappened pic.twitter.com/BGJoPNKr3n

— Clay County Sheriff (@SheriffClayCo) July 9, 2019

When searching for a criminal, one does not only use his sense of sight but also his sense of smell.  That’s how cops found a criminal in Missouri charged with possession of a controlled substance. The suspect almost got away but released some special gases.

UFO’s Are Real?!

If you don’t believe that UFO’s are real, then former CIA officials and scientists have news for you. Tom DeLonge’s (yes, that Tom DeLonge) To The Stars Academy of Arts & Science plans on releasing clear photos of UFOs. DeLonge said that “No one person, one government, or one hidden institution should own this information and technology.” Aliens exist!

Highway To Heaven

Today we stopped a local funereal home hearse in the HOV lane. The driver had the dearly departed in the back, he thought the deceased could be counted as two people. I guess we should clarify this, living, breathing people count for the HOV lane. The driver was given a warning pic.twitter.com/OQms0ktl8t

— NHP Southern Command (@NHPSouthernComm) July 1, 2019

Dead or living, another body in a vehicle is still considered a passenger, right? That’s what a hearse driver thought when he decided to drive at the HOV lane. When cops stopped him, the driver replied that he didn’t know that a dead body won’t count as another passenger. In the end, cops left him with a warning. Maybe officials should clarify that only warm bodies count.

What’s the weirdest thing you saw this week? Share it with us below!