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Week in Weird: Parents Are Pissed at This New Kids’ Show That Features a Man With a Magic Penis

Week in Weird: Parents Are Pissed at This New Kids’ Show That Features a Man With a Magic Penis

Jan 8, 2021   •   Kyzia Maramara

The first week of a new year has passed and with it a slew of weird and WTF news. Folks, it’s time to scrunch up your eyebrows (or laugh) as we lay out this week’s weirdest starting with a love triangle quarrel in the middle of a street.

 

True Beauty: Low Budget Street Side Edition

“Sana all pinagaagawan!”

It’s almost as if a budget True Beauty episode was unfolding before everyone’s eyes as the love triangle spat continued. Everyone is in suspense: who will this ate girl choose? We were rooting for Jacket Dude but when Tank Top Dude protectively put his arms around the girl and she actually hugged him back to end the fight, all bets were off. Jacket Dude had to walk away, heartbroken that he wasn’t chosen. Well, now he can sit at a table with Start-Up‘s Han Ji Pyeong and — dare we say — True Beauty‘s Han Seo Jun.

 

Matigas na Bakery HINDI KAYANG BAYARAN NI SM

Money can’t buy you everything and SM Supermalls know this thanks to a bakery that stood its ground and became beacon of hope of sorts (take that, capitalism!). Its name on Google Maps quite literally says it all: Matigas na Bakery HINDI KAYANG BAYARAN NI SM (the actual name of the bakery is Eastward but where’s the fun in that?).

Screenshot from Google Maps

The small structure is sandwiched between SM Sangandaan in Caloocan, satellite photos show how the bakery cuts into the mall like a thorn on its concrete flesh. The next time you’re in the area, you might want to buy a bag of pandesal from them. Under the original post, netizens rounded up similar setups where malls couldn’t buy out other establishment owners so they had to circle around them.

 

Emotional manipulation gone wrong

Love makes people do the unthinkable, such as dying and getting resurrected on Christmas day — no biggie. Facebook user Mai’s ex was really starving for her attention and it looks like he loved her enough to overcome the supernatural and come back from the dead. She was unimpressed (see the one-sided messages) and instead even said in her post that “Immortal ang mga sadboi, nabubuhay nalang ulit bigla.” Danilo, my boy, you’ve been given a second chance at life. Use it wisely and don’t go dying for other people now.

 

There’s a kid’s show about a man with a superpower penis

Screenshot from YouTube

You read that right. John Dillermand (which roughly translates to John Penis-Man) is a Danish show about an animated clay man with an — are you ready for this — extendable fully-clothed penis. His unusually long genitalia can “save children from danger, fetch objects from a river and operate as a pogo stick” among many things. It even appears to have a mind of its own. Naturally, it was met with criticism especially considering it’s marketed for kids under 10 years old. Adults, on the other hand, are enjoying the kid’s show even going so far as suggesting that  Cartoon Network’s adult-oriented nighttime programming Adult Swimshould pick it up.

 

Someone used Sen. Sherwin Gatchalian’s credit card to buy.. beer?

The New Year celebrations aren’t over until this hacker says it’s over. Early this week Sen. Sherwin Gatchalian was dumbfounded someone used his Unionbank credit card to purchase almost P1 Million on food panda orders. “Ano yan lauriat para sa buong barangay???” he tweeted incredulously. Later on, it was found that the hacker actually bought alcoholic beverages. Authorities are yet to trace where the beer bottles lead to. While some netizens offered the senator sympathy, others took the savage route:

 

What’s “American Mahjong”?

Netizens were enraged when they found out about the existence of The Mahjong Line, a company owned by three women who tried to “white-wash” an ancient Chinese game. For a supposed minimalist theme, their tile designs are “jarring and ugly” as one person commented with an equally shocking price tag. Outraged people took to Twitter to air their frustration saying that the whole point of the original mahjong tiles is so that players can recognize their tiles with a simple glance. Now that The Mahjong Line has made it Instagrammable, cute, and “more fun,” it actually defeats the purpose. The owners did issue an apology after the backlash but by then, it was too late.

 

Street food charcuterie

It’s cute that #CharcuterieBoardChallenge is a thing over on Facebook. During the holiday people pulled out all the stops — cheeses, fruits, cold cuts, crackers, the works! — and made us feel poor with our bag of rotisserie chicken. One netizen even made a charcuterie platter out of McDonald’s favorites. But over on Twitter, it’s a different thing and it’s depressing.

 

Netizens: Sharon Dacera is the new Thelma Chiong

On Friday morning, Thelma Chiong’s name trended alongside Sharon Dacera’s, the mother of alleged rape-slay victim flight attendant Christine Angelica Dacera. This was after netizens watched footage of Sharon attempting to fight back tears while at a press con and appealing to “Tatay Digong” to give her daughter justice. “Right after fake crying, back to normal na si nanay,” one netizen commented.

Netizens also couldn’t help but compare Sharon with Thelma Chiong, the mother of 1997 rape-slay victims Marijoy and Jacqueline Chiong. In the latter’s quest to find justice for her girls, Paco Larrañaga was was pinned as the mastermind and arrested for the brutal crime despite a lack of evidence.

Netizens drew parallels between a photo of Sharon hugging PNP chief General Debold Sinas (who tagged Dacera’s death as a rape-slay despite an autopsy saying that she died due to ruptured aortic aneurysm) and Thelma giving the Chiong’s star witness Davidson Rusia special treatment despite him being part of Larrañaga’s gang that allegedly killed her daughters.

While many think that the situation seems a bit odd, it’s important to note that Sharon is still a grieving mother who just lost her daughter, and everyone grieves in different ways. We also still don’t know what really happened yet and the weight of a sensationalized death is on the Dacera family’s shoulders. It must be exhausting to deal with the confusion and media attention while processing the passing of a loved one. Let’s just hope for the best that the Dacera case gets solved as soon as possible.

 

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen all week?


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Kyzia spends most of her time capturing the world around her through photos, paragraphs, and playlists. She is constantly on the hunt for the perfect chocolate chip cookie, and a great paperback thriller to pair with it.

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