4. Man suspected of having sex with van

In Ohio, a man is facing indecency charges after witnesses saw him trying to have sex with a van’s grill.

The police report states that officers found a man pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign. The man in question, 35-year old Michael Henson, was seen wearing only black gym shorts and shoes, and appeared to be intoxicated.

The woman who called the police said she saw Henson pull his pants down and put his genitals in the parked van’s front grill, passing out in a nearby yard shortly after.

It’s unfathomable the amount of harassment and indecent looks vans get in the first place, and now this?

3. Couple wearing pig masks shoot lasers on teens playing Pokémon Go, proceed to have sex behind waterwheel after

In central Sweden, teen siblings playing Pokemon Go had their fun grind to a halt when a couple wearing pig masks showed up and scared them off. Speaking to the police, the teenagers’ mother said “they wore rubber masks depicting pigs’ heads and they started screaming and waving a green laser.” The laser hit one of the teens’ faces and they both ran back home unharmed.

The masked couple, who also wore shirts with the words “king” and “queen,” were later spotted by motorists having sex behind a waterwheel. The couple’s identity and whereabouts remain unknown.

Damn. Can’t a masked couple be left alone while they have sex behind a waterwheel? Kids today have no respect.

2. Woman sets world record for 17-month long pregnancy

In China, a woman has set a world record for her 17-month long (and still counting) pregnancy. The woman, Wang Shi, became pregnant February of last year. Her due date was Nov. 15, but the child somehow wasn’t able to be released in this world. Given the weirdness and happenings in the world, we’re not surprised.

Given this is an unnatural occurrence, Wang went to the doctor every 10 days after her due date. Doctors can’t explain the reason for the delay, but notes that Wang is in good physical condition.

She’s probably expecting twins—that’s why it’s taking so long.

1. Man stabs couple and eat’s man’s face in “zombie attack”

In Florida, 19-year old University of Florida student Austin Harrouff (pictured above) killed a couple and was found eating the man’s face when police arrived on the scene.  A deputy tried to subdue the suspect with a stun gun but was unsuccessful. It took four deputies and a K-9 to pry Harrouff off the man and arrest him.

Police found the man’s wife in the garage, where they said there was “an enormous amount of violence” and that Harrouff used “weapons of opportunity” to attack the couple, John Stevens III and Michelle Mishcon. The neighbor who called the police and tried to intervene also got stabbed and got seriously injured, but is expected to recover.

Police have also described the incident as a random and unprovoked attack.

What weird stuff is happening on your end of the web?

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