4. Man shoots himself in the face for music video

https://www.facebook.com/empk.knight/videos/1724035864517336/

Rapper Kasper Knight, aka Kasper Tha Phantom, shot himself in the cheek for a music video and posted the footage on his Facebook account. He says he’s been shot several times before and that shooting is just 4 out of 10 on the pain scale. After shooting himself, he appeared calm and would still talk after the whole ordeal. He later said he should’ve used a different gun since the 9mm he used was “armor piercing.” The things people do to become successful. Nothing is ever, EVER worth shooting yourself in the damned face.

3. 86-year-old woman fights off attacker with bacon

In England, an 86-year old woman was attacked while withdrawing at an ATM outside a grocery store. What the robber didn’t expect was that this old lady isn’t someone you should mess with, because she fought off her attacker with her on-hand weapon. How’d she do it? Was she a former secret agent? A former martial artist who competed in underground bloodsports? Did she beat him senseless with some sick martial arts moves? Nah, she grabbed some bacon from her grocery cart and beat the living shit out of her attacker until the worthless scum fled.

Police responded to the incident and praised the octogenarian, complete with an NSFW hashtag below:

So the next time someone tells you bacon is bad for you, hit them on the head with it and get that person out of your life. You don’t need that negativity.

2. Long-legged bird becomes internet Photoshop sensation

The internet has proven time and time again that it is a community filled with mature, sensible, and learned individuals.

Reddit proved that point again in their Photoshop Battles thread, and took this surprised-looking bird through the wringer.

And thus, another internet sensation is born. Check out some of the entries below:

1. Meet the new superfood: cockroach milk

Fun fact: the Pacific beetle cockroach gives birth to live offspring instead of laying eggs. Another fun fact: scientists have found that cockroach feed its young “milk” that is rich in protein. It contains three times more caloric energy than buffalo milk, or four times the equivalent of cow’s milk. Researchers say that the so-called milk may be considered a superfood in the future.

However, Becky Facer, director of school and educator programs at Fernbank Museum of Natural History in Atlanta, says, “Any liquid harvested from a cockroach is not true milk. At least not as we think of it.” The milk in question takes the form of protein crystals in the guts of these baby cockroaches and is essential to their development.

Scientists tested the substance and found it to be a complete food. Leonard Chavas, one of the scientists behind the study, says “it is what one would need: protein, essential amino acids, lipids and sugars.” It is packed with energy that helps Pacific beetle cockroach infants grow significantly larger than other species.

For now, scientists are still thinking about how they can bring this into mass production, considering you have to get the substance extracted from cockroach embryos.

As for flavor? Chavas says it has “no particular taste.” Here’s hoping we see roach milk in our supermarket aisles soon complete with variants: non-fat cockroach milk, full-cream cockroach milk, and chocolate cockroach milk. Yum!

What’s made you go “WTF!?” this week? Sound off in the comments below!

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