Not all careers are created equal, and being a parent is far more than a career. So what does a young dad wish he knew before he walked into that huge responsibility?

They always say that the grass is greener on the other side. But is it worth it to get there with these pitfalls? Read on and decide for yourself.

8. Speaking in tongues

Apparently, being typically bi- or trilingual as most Filipinos are is not enough once you’re a dad. When you have a kid, you have to learn their language, too — and I don’t just mean their slang. Babies have a unique way of expressing themselves, and understanding the difference between a crying baby’s “I’m hungry” and “I’m tired” is like asking yourself if you’re fluent in Latin or Aztec. Millions or even billions of years of evolution, and we still haven’t figured this out.

7. Improv

Apparently, just reading their favorite stories at bedtime can sometimes prove woefully insufficient. More often than not, the best story times are the ones you had to come up with off the top of your head. I always thought improv classes would be great if I were in theater or entertainment, but apparently, improv is especially good for new parents.

6. Batman’s sleeping technique

In between all the sleepless nights you spend immediately waking up once the baby cries – and all the ones you spend immediately waking up when the baby doesn’t, I end up wishing that I read comics more and learned once and for all how Batman does regular micro-sleeps to eliminate the need for a full six to eight hours of bedtime, which I am never, ever getting for at least the next five years.

5. Ninja-like reflexes

In between catching a baby about to trip, or a precious family heirloom that’s about to roll down the stairs into a million pieces because my kid mistook it for a toy, I really wish I spent some of my formative years honing my reflexes to perfection.

Or at least, I wish I studied whatever the heck it is that Tony Stark studied so I can put a suit of armor around my child’s world and protect him from all harm 24/7 (but hopefully without creating a baby Ultron).

4. The theory of relativity

Why does it seem like the challenging parts of being a dad feels like an eternity sometimes, yet the moment your kid no longer wants to kiss and hug you when they see you, it feels like that eternity went by too fast? What is it about the relativity of time and space that makes the moments that matter feel fleeting while the moments that challenge you to feel stretched endlessly, and how can I swap that perception around?

3. Juggling

People have often complained why women are often asked “How do you do it all – being a mom, an athlete, and a great wife?!?” I get it. It does indeed come across as sexist. But I genuinely want to know how they do it all, because as a single dad, it feels like all I have time for is my job and my kid. The part where I get to be a great husband or boyfriend to someone? Good luck! I barely find time to even log on to Tinder at this point, so ladies, please. I’m all ears, and I blame society for thinking only women should be able to do this.

2. Whatever the science involved in tiny clothes is

I can’t imagine how often my parents had to replace my wardrobe when I was growing up so fast as a baby. From making sure those tiny socks fit to tossing away a full set of clothes because your kid outgrew them almost overnight, it makes me wonder if I should have spearheaded research into 3D printing so we could 3D print clothes from our babies that stretch juuuuust right as they grow up.

1. A deeper appreciation for things that matter

From realizing what my own parents went through, to being surprised at what I could actually do when I set my mind to it, I just wish I knew how to appreciate the really important things in my life before I met my kid for the first time. Then again, maybe that’s exactly what it took for me to do just that, and with that in mind, I couldn’t be more grateful.

And yes, I know – you have definitely heard of some dads who outright resent ever being dads. Whether it gets in the way of their bachelor life or it’s just too damned expensive, I can commiserate. But the only regret I have about being a dad now is that I didn’t prepare enough. Being a dad itself? Zero. Zero regrets over here.

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