8 Wins (That Are Really Losses)

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8 Wins (That Are Really Losses)

When you’re getting pretty good at barely getting by.

| July 31, 2017

8 Wins

(That Are Really Losses)

By Kel Fabie

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In life, some victories aren’t what they think they are. Sometimes, what we think is a setup for a comeback is actually a setback in reality, like a Bizarro Jessy Mendiola.

Here are 8 “wins” that, on hindsight, aren’t much of a “win,” after all.

Winning the lottery

The Win: Imagine making millions overnight for an investment of chump change. Well, that’s what the lottery can do to your life!

The Rub: We always think that winning the lottery would solve plenty of our problems, but the numbers tend to tell a sobering story: about 70% of the people who win it big in lotteries end up broke within seven years. Something about coming across money so quickly tends to also make it go away so quickly.

If that were the only bad thing about the lottery, that would have already been pretty scary enough, but in 2012, a lottery winner in the Philippines found himself dead after being shot by unidentified robbers, who made off with his new car and an undisclosed amount of money. Be careful what you wish for, indeed.


Creating the most famous superhero in the world

The Win: You have just created Superman, known all over the world and arguably more famous than even Jesus Christ himself. Not bad for a couple of Jewish kids, right?

The Rub: You sold your rights to the character for a pittance because you never knew it would make it big.

The story of the pioneers of the comic book industry, an industry that now props up a multi-billion dollar cinema industry powered by comics, is nothing short of heartbreaking to practically anyone not named Stan Lee. As work-for-hire, their creative output was owned by the comic book companies, and as the characters they created grew bigger and bigger in popularity and sheer monetary value, they kept being shafted of their share of that pie. Sometimes, you just wish that the character you made only got to a certain level of success that it wouldn’t make you regret selling off your character for $130, which is exactly what Siegel and Shuster, makers of Superman, did.


Your movie establishes the Sci-Fi genre

The Win: You are George Lucas, and you just made Star Wars. Boo-ya!

The Rub: You doubted yourself so much, you bet against your own movie with Steven Spielberg.

George Lucas practically gave Steven Spielberg $40 Million, when, in a fit of self-doubt, he offered 2.5% of whatever his movie made in exchange for 2.5% of whatever Steven Spielberg’s movie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, made.

I think it should be obvious who won big on that.


You fight off a shark in a beach

The Win: Well, you just fought off a shark and lived to tell the tale. You’re a hero, and a pretty badass one at that.

The Rub: The story goes viral, and your office finds out you were on vacation during your “sick” leave. They then fire you.

As awesome as Paul Marshallsea was, making like an action movie hero, what wasn’t awesome was that he lied to his work to be where he was. Still, the heavy-handed response by Paul’s employers, as they sacked both him and his wife was pretty cold-hearted. They better hope they don’t encounter any sharks in their own vacations anytime soon, because Paul has very little motivation to rescue their butts after what they did to him.