8 Alternate Career Paths For Mocha To Appease Everyone

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8 Alternate Career Paths For Mocha To Appease Everyone

We’re running out of ideas here.

| November 10, 2017

4. WAZE Navigation Voice

Imagine having Mocha give you traffic instructions. Go ahead.

Why She’s A Fit: “Kumanan ka sa Tomas Morato. Mamayang gabi, diyan sa may Casino, may show pala kami.”

Why She’s Not A Fit: “EDSA na naman? Wala naman tayo napala diyan, eh! Liko ka na lang sa Ortigas.”


3. Games and Gadgets Sales

The perfect place to work for someone who owns a Facebook page and mistakes it for a “blog:” a shop that sells neither games nor gadgets, except cellphone accessories.

Why She’s A Fit: They’re both the epitome of false advertising.

Why She’s Not A Fit: The average Games and Gadgets Saleslady actually works hard.


2. Orphanage Matron

Many people insist that Mocha has a kind heart. This seems the most appropriate place for kindness to be showered.

Why She’s A Fit: There is so much immaturity, entitlement, and xenophobia here.

Why She’s Not A Fit: Unfortunately, all that immaturity, entitlement, and xenophobia were specifically brought in by her.


1. Lexicographer

Yes. Let’s have Mocha write dictionaries.

Why She’s A Fit: I have the right against self-discri-ano.. against self-incrimination. Pasensya na.

Why She’s Not A Fit: Let’s see how she plans to define “social media,” “press corps,” and “assistant secretary.” We’re all ears.


What else would fit her? Tell us below!