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Life is Hard: The Beginner’s Guide to Adult Relationships

Relationships are already tough. Relationships as an adult are even harder.

| April 20, 2016

9685804_mlLife is Hard: The Beginner’s Guide to Adult Relationships
By Kevin Christian L. Santos

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Remember when you were a kid and you’d always look up to adults for guidance? You always thought, wow, these guys seem so successful and they have everything together. There were also times when you thought these adults were lame since some of them seemed stuck-up and responsible to a fault. “Adults suck,” you said to yourself as you flipped your middle finger while drinking an ungodly amount of beer because you were such a kewl rebel.

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Then lo and behold, you BECOME an adult. From telling people not to tell you what to do when you were a kid, now you ask for guidance. “Adults don’t really suck,” you say to yourself as you squirm in your seat while reading yet another self-help article. All of a sudden, regret and your insecurities fill your head. Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten all that candy as a kid. Maybe you should’ve taken up a sport. Maybe you should’ve done something more productive instead of watching porn and hating yourself after for fondling your no-no parts.

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Oh dear God no.

Amid all the budgeting, pursuing your passions and the mini existential crisis happening in your head, you realize that relationships as an adult can be tricky. When you put on your big boy/girl pants, you realize that:

8. Making friends as an adult isn’t easy

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When you were a kid, making friends wasn’t rocket science. Now that you’re an adult, it seems like there’s a complex algorithm involved in making new and lasting friendships.

You realize this because you notice that the friends that you used to hang out with got too busy and started drifting away because life happened. As an adult, it’s sometimes harder to get out of our comfort zone due to our fear of getting rejected. But in order to make new friends, you have to be able to put yourself out there. Get out of your comfort zone and talk to people. If you’re invited to a random party, just go. Keep doing the things you love and chances are you might meet someone who shares the same passions as you do. Hang out more at your favorite spots. Have dinner and drinks with your colleagues. You might just surprise yourself and it’s going to feel good.

7. People will disappear from your life

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When you bid someone goodbye, it might be your last. So try not to keep grudges. Burn bridges only when necessary, when the person involved is toxic and does no good to your well-being.

6. Don’t be a dick/cunt

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Going back with the previous entry, today might be the last day you see someone. How you treat people matters. All-around awesome human being Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This is so true. Treating other people with respect and decency can get you far. The world does not revolve around you. Take responsibility for your words and for your actions. Don’t be a dick, a cunt, or a cunt-dick. It won’t just make other people feel good, but you’ll feel awesome for it as well.

5. You respect your parents even more

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When you were a teenager, you sometimes thought of your parents as annoying people who didn’t understand what you were going through. Now, you see them as something other than the people you thought embarrassed you or cramped your style. You view them as real people, as your friends even. You respect them even more for getting this far in life on top of raising your sorry ass. You’re able to relate to them more and you have a renewed appreciation for their cooking. No matter how hectic life can get, try to find time to give them a call and make them know how you feel about them.