They teach reverse psychology to a frightening degree.
Ever heard of “negging?” It’s when someone pays you a compliment that’s actually a bit backhanded in hindsight, or maybe puts you down mildly, if only to make it seem like you, the lady who’s meant to be pursued, isn’t actually being pursued by the PUA, despite all the attention he’s already lavished on you so far in approaching you and your group, in having a (usually) canned opener line that got your conversation started, and maybe the magic trick or two he’s now performing just for you. PUA has taught men that being the “nice guy” doesn’t work, but being an asshole will.
When they manipulate a woman to question her self-worth, or at least present themselves as a challenge, they go all “Inception” on the lady and make it seem like she is the one with something to conquer, when it’s always been the other way around. This is, of course, after making sure that they’ve demonstrated their higher values, and made it seem like they are available only for a limited time. Now, you just have to give your number to him, and you just have to see him one more time to see what makes him tick.
It sounds cute and all, until you realize they’ve done that to 19 different women in the bar just in the last two hours, and a few of you are feeling all those same feelings right now. It’s not about you: it’s about the fact that you’re a woman they want to sleep with, and who you are as a person has zip to do with that.
And yes, while sometimes, that’s precisely what a one night stand is all about, the best ones normally involve full knowledge and disclosure on both sides that this is what it’s all about, but the PUA is taught to make it seem like it’s anything but that. They’re taught to make it seem like there’s something more behind that.
Unfortunately, they’re not taught exactly what’s behind that. At all. They’re taught all the flash, but none of the substance. They’re taught how to take you to bed, and that this is the only important thing. Therein lies the problem.
They teach that women need to be seduced to want anybody, as if women have no agency whatsoever.
PUA apologists don’t believe that things like basic human decency and self-respect should stop you from doing everything you can, regardless if you come across as a caveman or a swindler, so long as you get what you want.
The problem is, people, whether men or women, just generally like being treated like people. And none of that is a guarantee for sex, because human interaction wasn’t built solely for that purpose, contrary to what PUA Academy insists on browbeating into their customers. And just like you wanting to date a woman or not wanting to date her, women also have that agency, precisely because like you, they’re people.
If PUA stopped at teaching you how to look more presentable and teaching you how to socialize, the world would be such a better place. Unfortunately, that’s obviously not the case.
They teach peacocking.
This is usually the part where we scream for someone to “kill it with fire!”
This man is known as “Mystery.” And just like Smooth, he is also a very infamous PUA, who has made a name for himself. You might have heard of him if you’ve ever come across the book by Neil Strauss, titled “The Game.”
One of the techniques Mystery swears by is “Peacocking,” or wearing stuff that makes them stand out in a crowd, though not necessarily in a good way.
When everyone in the crowd looks like an idiot, wouldn’t looking like an actual human being instead be the smart choice?
“It’s a conversation starter and makes you memorable,” they would reason. “But you look like a douchebag serial killer,” we would counter.
They teach people things that actually work. Sometimes. We think.
Do these “techniques” work all the time? Obviously not. But they’ve made it so that it’s your fault if these techniques don’t work, not the technique’s fault. They’ve made it so that if you don’t get laid after all of this effort, there’s something fundamentally wrong with you. It’s not that women generally don’t like the idea of being guilted into sex: it’s that you are the problem. See what we mean about PUA techniques being harmful to both parties?
And therein lies the deepest problem with the PUA culture: in turning seduction into a game, they have sold you on the idea that your prowess at changing a woman’s mind about sleeping with you is a great thing, and not a prelude to a rape lawsuit. And lest you think we’re being very cavalier about our usage of the word, we are decidedly not. Our current laws on rape and voyeurism cover a lot of the very things PUA Academy insists men should be doing: not taking “no” for an answer, and posting pictures and videos of sexual exploits without the express consent of all parties involved. They have taken a very positive thing, teaching human and social interaction, and twisted it into a tool to getting laid, consequences be damned.
Remember Neil Strauss from earlier on? Like Mystery, he also became a skilled PUA. (Un)surprisingly, he has all but denounced that phase of his life, now focusing on being a happily married husband and father. Calling the online PUA community “wounded,” “hurtful,” and “damaged,” does it not seem strange that perhaps the man who helped make PUA a thing over a decade ago now realizes that there is something fundamentally broken about it?