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Let Them Go: 8 Other People We Should Let Go Of (If We Let Janet Napoles Go)

Five more years, guys.

| February 18, 2017

Let Them Go:

8 Other People

We Should Let Go Of

(If We Let Janet Napoles Go)

By Tim Henares

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In what could only be the head-scratcher of the year, the solicitor general has recently defended one of the few things everyone in the Philippines agreed was totally guilty: Janet Napoles. Well, a statement like that has ramifications, and we’re here to get to the bottom of it.

Let’s face it: If we’re going to let Janet Napoles walk, we may as well let these other people walk:

Every single implicated politician in the pork barrel scam

Notorious For: Every single politician, over a hundred of them named, by last count, should now be allowed to go free, regardless of how much money they apparently stole from our coffers.

Why Not: Well, duh. They stole our money.

But Then: Bong Revilla has MMFF entries to make. Somebody free that man!

 

Norberto Manero, Jr.

Notorious For: Multiple crimes, but most heinous of them all, eating a priest’s brains.

Why Not: Technically, he’s been free since 2008, but that’s only an act of clemency, not a reversal of his guilt. He’s been handling Manny Pacquiao’s cocks (heh) ever since. But c’mon! Why are we letting this guy run around?

But Then: He ate a priest’s brains. This assures Manero that he will have nothing but holy thoughts for the rest of his life.

 

Baby Ama

Notorious For: Petty thievery that graduated to a massive prison riot that claimed the lives of ten inmates.

Why Not: For starters, he’s dead.

But Then: Robin Padilla played him in a movie, so we need to let him go.

 

Jaybee Sebastian

Notorious For: Convicted for kidnapping and carjacking in 2009, Sebastian rose among the ranks of the prisoners in Bilibid to become the head of the Sigue Sigue Commando gang in prison. Dude even has his own TV channel within the prison walls.

Why Not: For starters, nobody’s disputing the crimes that landed him in prison, and there’s little in the way of clearing him of the crimes he allegedly did while he was already in prison. That’s not repentant criminal material right there.

But Then: He has his own TV channel!