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The 8List Guide to Debunking the Top 8 Lies Women Say

Here’s what they really mean.

| March 18, 2015


We’ve heard it a million times before: men are from Mars, women are from Venus. So much for women being taken from the rib of man because we’re as different from each other as night and day. Other than the obvious physical differences (duh), men are programmed in such a weird way that they can’t ever get what we’re saying. How is it that all the women of the world understand everything women try to say but men always think it’s a secret language?

FYI, they are not “lies,” as you men like to call them. They are mostly cues and it’s not our fault if it’s been an eternity and none of you have evolved enough to get it.

 

Okay this is not a cue to anything. And it’s true. We don’t. We don’t belch either.

 

Can you say jahe? Just take us somewhere to eat. And never believe we’ll only get a salad. God knows getting dressed and possibly even wearing heels takes a lot of effort and burns calories as if we hit the gym. Please just order extra food for us. Recommend something nice or ask the waiter to do so. Like lolas always say, better to have extra food than kulang.

 

This is no lie. It’s true, we want you to decide on something you will enjoy because we enjoy when you enjoy. Just please don’t mention fast food or anything else that does not qualify in the eating out category. If you had any of the aforementioned in mind, please revise your question to “hey you want to get drive-thru” so we don’t get our hopes up.

 

Please note that this differs greatly from “Go ahead! It’s fine!” in a cheery tone. Said in a way that demands the ellipses, it really means something more in the lines of “do what you want, I don’t care”, because we’ll probably stop caring about you if you do decide to do whatever it was in question. Most likely we just don’t feel like getting into an argument at the moment but will forever hold a grudge against your poor judgment instead.

 

Boy, you better start planning now. Nothing always means something. And that something means we can’t decide either but you’d better make it special or else we won’t feel special on our special day. And don’t bother telling us about it because the moment you start letting us know what you have in mind, it loses its magic and can no longer count as special.

 

While planning for the super awesome birthday celebration, better start planning your super awesome gift as well. Anything doesn’t mean you can literally give anything, I’m sure you guys are well aware of that by now. I hope. Put a little thought into it, please. Last minute gifts are worse than having no gift at all. Doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, but please make sure it’s something we’re actually digging. Bonus points for things we’ve been eyeing for a long time but never buy for ourselves. You know those subtle hints while walking around the mall? They were dropped for a reason. Please take note. Flowers are always a nice little extra.

And on that note…

 

No matter how adamant a girl is about not liking flowers, it’s not true. NOT TRUE. Besides, it’s the gesture that makes it special, not the actual foliage and blooms tied together. Although it would be nicer if you actually remembered our favorite flowers.

 

Like I’ve mentioned before, nothing always means something and that nothing could mean one of the following:

a. You KNOW what’s wrong, stop playing dumb.
b. It’s something stupid that I’ll get over with in a bit so it’s not worth the trouble
c. Nothing. For real. Nothing. Not every sigh has to mean something, you know.

Got more “lies” to debunk? Post your thoughts now!