Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am: 8 Rules of Etiquette for One-Night Stands

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Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am: 8 Rules of Etiquette for One-Night Stands

Plan a plausible exit.

| July 13, 2016

30401843 - happy couple relaxing in bedWham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am:
8 Rules of Etiquette
for One-Night Stands

By Tim Henares
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Sometimes, people just want to have all the fun of sex without the strings of a relationship that usually come with it. There’s nothing wrong with that, so long as the people involved are consenting adults who are preferably not inebriated (thus, still consenting).

That being said, nobody really wrote down a hard and fast rulebook when it comes to one-night stands. And it’s really awkward going through it, especially when you wake up the next day and don’t know if you should kiss them goodbye or just up and leave.

Here are 8 basic rules you should follow, and hopefully, it becomes more fun than stress-inducing for you.

8. Make sure you know what you’re getting into—and so does the other person.


This is a one-night stand. This is not a marriage or even a relationship. So the moment you’re game to hook up, make sure that you’re doing it because it’s something you want to do, and not as a way to, say, get back at an ex who dumped you. Make sure that both of you know where you stand on this to save yourself the awkward morning after where you ask each other if you will ever see each other again.

“I don’t want anything serious right now,” is a good start, but still too vague. If it’s a one-night stand, label it as such. Communication is very key here, because nobody wants to misread the vibe and have it lead to even more awkward conversations afterwards.

Also, as gender-neutral as we want to be here, the onus on labeling something a one-night stand is usually with the woman in a heterosexual pairing. It seems a bit presumptuous for a guy to make that declaration, don’t you think?


7. Don’t give a chance for an encore—unless it’s that good.


No numbers. No last names. No adding on Facebook. No leaving stuff behind so you can “go back” and meet them again so you can grab what you “forgot.”

Of course, you might change your mind about this if the sex is really good, but make sure you do it the morning after, and only if you mutually agree to it. Consent is king.


6. Stay safe


Unless you want your one night stand to turn into a lifelong commitment, bring protection.


5. Plan a plausible exit


Make sure that you have an escape clause, such as the need to go home early the next day because you have a morning meeting, and so forth. But please, make it believable. The escape clause is really meant for something bad, much like a 3-star or less Uber review. If you don’t need to, don’t use it just because you can.

Or else, get a friend to ring your phone at a certain time feigning an emergency. You can choose to answer (or not), depending how things are going.