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8 Things People Need to Stop Saying to New Moms

‘Lalaki ba o babae?’

| May 14, 2016

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8 Things People Need to Stop Saying to New Moms

Regardless of the mythical breed of women who make pregnancy and childbirth look like a walk in the park, the transition from being a woman to being a mother is a rough one. Sure, we got nine months to prepare, but those nine months are spent growing another human being inside of us—any spare moment was spent worrying about our diet, what else we needed to prepare, and stressing out about having to push said child out of our ladyparts.

Once said pushing is over and done with, moms don’t get much time to bask in the glow of their newfound parenthood. While the people around us may mean well, there are a few things that are incredibly annoying, especially in our hormonal state. Things like….

8. “Lalaki ba sya o babae?”

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Why does this even matter? All newborns look like wrinkled little pinky fingers—were you expecting us to slap pearl earrings on them or have them clutch a basketball to clear the confusion? Maybe the question was asked in order to make an appropriate purchase in mind, but unless the gift requires the use of the child’s reproductive organs, gender shouldn’t affect or influence your treatment or view of them.

7. “Gets ko struggle mo girl, we just got a new pet last month!”

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The second our child gets compared to a pet, it takes all of our will power not to shove the speaker out the door. This goes the same for calling your pet your child. It’s just not the same thing. Pets deserve to be nurtured, but raising a human being is a whole other ball game.

6. “Just sleep when they sleep!”

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Oh, really? Please, enlighten us as to how this is done as easily as it is said.

5. “Aww, sobrang guapo/ganda nya! Magiging heartbreaker yan pagtanda nya!”

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Kids have less than a decade before society sexualizes them. We don’t need other people asserting any heteronormative expectations on our child.

4. “Kamukhang kamukha nya daddy nya!”

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Oh, don’t mind us. We just made said baby in our body and gave birth to them, only to have you go and tell us that they don’t look like us at all. NBD.

3. “Are you breastfeeding?”

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Not every woman can breastfeed, and the last thing we need is your disappointment when we admit that we can’t. No new mom needs a lecture on how it’s “too bad” and how it’s the “best thing” for our child.

2. “I had such a long day at work.”

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Did you spend your day cleaning, cooking, changing diapers and dealing with a crying newborn while running on zero sleep? No? Then a new mom doesn’t want to hear about your day.

1. “Kailan nyo bibigyan ng kapatid?”

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We gave birth to a child—we didn’t go to the store and buy a goldfish. Really, it’s a liiittle bit more complicated than that.


What are you sick of hearing as a new mom? Share your thoughts in the comments below!