This Week in Weird News:
Best Friends Forever
By Kevin Christian L. Santos
So good news, the dumpster fire that is 2017 is about to end. This whole year felt like getting your toe stubbed on a daily basis. Good riddance.
As we welcome 2018, let’s take a look at some of the strange happenings closing the year. As if 2017 wasn’t weird enough already.
1. The Lochness Ness Monster is apparently real and is currently on vacation
So apparently the Loch Ness Monster is totally a real thing. Only at this time of the year, it’s left its home in Scotland and moved to Great Pespa Lake in Albania instead. Why? Because sea monsters need to go on vacation too.
Funny enough, a video from five years ago also showed the creature chilling in the lake. Must be a big fan of Albania.
While many locals believe in the existence of a sea monster dwelling in the lake, some residents just believe it to be a giant catfish.
2. Woman claims to hear God, turns out to have brain tumour
A woman from Switzerland claims that she could hear God speaking to her. It turns out she has a brain tumour.
When researchers at the University of Bern scanned her, an MRI machine discovered the tumour growing in her brain. Professor of Psychiatric Neuroscience Sebastian Walther said: “The tumour was located on a network that is vital for speech perception, so voices. That was responsible for religious feelings.”
The woman started to experience serious religious feelings. She would even harm herself to be able to listen to the voices.
The tumour was found in the woman’s thalamus, which caused her to be delusional and display signs of schizophrenia. Hence, the hallucinations and hearing disembowelled voices.
3. Woman rode motorcycle naked, got fingered on the street, and punches blind man because she’s a trainwreck
Over in England, 36-year old Natasha Claus got handed a 13-month jail term for riding a motorcycle naked through the streets of Woking, engaging in a sex act in public, and for punching a blind man.
Prosecutor John Upton said she was being fingered by a man in July 29 of this year. He also told the court that Ms. Claus had a habit of taking advantage of vulnerable men. She got into an argument with one of the said men and attacked him. Since the man was legally blind, he couldn’t tell if Claus struck him with a hand or fist.
Her defense mentioned that Claus was addicted to inhaling butane, to which Judge Moss to tell her, “your life’s a mess.”
He adds, “You are a mess. Your life is a mess. I spoke to your son earlier and it is a testament to something in your son’s life that he’s never been to court and finds this whole situation awful.”
She’s basically 2017 as a person. A terrible, terrible person.
4. Box of horse manure addressed to US treasury secretary
This season of giving, here’s a perfectly shitty gift idea for our government officials.
A gift-wrapped box of horse manure was found near the home of US treasury secretary Steve Mnuchin. It even came with a card that said the box was from the “American people.
A Secret Service official said they were aware of the incident but declined to comment further.