This Week in Weird News: Blowjob Robots Are A Thing Now

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This Week in Weird News: Blowjob Robots Are A Thing Now

Westworld? Noooot quite.

| April 28, 2017

This Week in Weird News:

Blowjob Robots

Are A Thing Now

By Kevin Christian L. Santos

Moments from Volleyfriends UAAP Volleyball Kick Off SHAD

Hey gang! It’s still as hot as hell outside. Maybe this is the universe’s way of punishing us for fighting in the comments section and spreading fake news. The universe curses us by having perennially sweaty singits, scoffing and laughing as our jabbar reaches toxic levels.

Know what else is hot? The weirdness never ends! As we have learned previously, DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY.

Starting with…

1. Lightning strikes tree, apparently opens dimension to the netherworld

Mississippi and Alabama dealt with a storm over the weekend. The storm gave us the photo above, wherein a tree is burning from the inside after being struck by lightning. It may also have opened the gates of hell.

Twitter got shookt:

Dammit, nature.


2. Someone actually bought a Chicken McNugget dip for $14,700

Via Giphy

Simply put, Rick and Morty is one of the best shows out there right now. If you don’t agree, FIGHT ME. But seriously, the show has such power that it triggered for the demand of a Chicken McNugget sauce that was distributed in the late 90s. The sauce in question was the McDonald’s Szechuan sauce that promoted the movie Mulan. Remember Mulan? Congrats, you’re old.

Demand was so strong that someone actually bought the damn thing on ebay for a whopping USD $14,700 (roughly Php 733,162.50) because priorities. $14,700 for DIPPING SAUCE. Someone actually spent that much for two-decade old sauce. This is it. This is the future of the human race.


3. Giant rabbit dies flying United Airlines, because United Airlines


United Airlines has been having a rough couple of weeks. First, there was the incident of a passenger being forcefully dragged off their plane. There was also a scorpion which fell out of one of the plane’s overhead bins and stung a passenger. Well, looks like the airline is about to have another PR nightmare on their hands.

A 10-month, three-foot long bunny named Simon was found dead in a plane’s cargo hold after arriving in Chicago from London. Reports say that Simon was the son of the Darius, the world’s largest rabbit. He was also expected to outgrow his father. Speaking to The Sun, breeder Annette Edwards said: “Simon had a vet’s check-up three hours before the flight and was fit as a fiddle. Something very strange has happened and I want to know what. I’ve sent rabbits all around the world and nothing like this has happened before.”

In a statement sent to the BBC, United Airlines said, We were saddened to hear this news. The safety and well-being of all the animals that travel with us is of the utmost importance to United Airlines and our PetSafe team. We have been in contact with our customer and have offered assistance. We are reviewing this matter.”

So basically if you’re flying United, you run the risk of getting your ass beat, having a possibly poisonous creature sting you, and get your pet killed. Here’s a pro-tip: never fly United.


4. Man kills baby on Facebook Live

Facebook has been under intense scrutiny lately, from the proliferation of fake news to a man posting a live video of him shooting and killing an innocent civilian. Recently, a man in Thailand broadcast himself killing his 11-month old daughter, before ending the broadcast and committing suicide. Facebook has removed the video.

In a statement, Facebook said “This is an appalling incident and our hearts go out to the family of the victim. There is absolutely no place for content of this kind on Facebook and it has now been removed.”

Police say that the man, identified as 20-year old Wuttisan Wongtalay, committed the heinous act due to jealousy. He accused his wife of infidelity.

Facebook has said it is working on better measures to ensure that sensitive content such as this gets flagged faster. For all our sakes, let’s hope they succeed.