Why Are You Still Single
This Valentine’s Day?
By Eldrin Veloso
Ayan na naman siya. As if the mandated family reunions last holidays were not enough catastrophe to break your confidence, here’s another alternative holiday that will surely bring your weather down. There’s no way to avoid the coming typhoon that would bring scattered painshowers and blunderstorms.
Being single sucks this time of year. It is like being a kid in a cousin’s birthday party. You’re required to be there and pretend to enjoy the party for their happiness; but deep inside, you just hate your cousin. And then far deeper, you just really want a party for yourself. If your relatives and friends would just know, for whenever they fire their bakit-wala-ka-pang-karelasyon questions, how badly you want to scream, “KUNG MERON LANG, ipapasa ko agad sa Facebook!”
So, if you’re dating Netflix and that last tub of ice cream in the fridge and hate every single moment of it, stop imagining you’re in a sappy music video whenever you pass by couples. It’s time for that reality check that may make you realize, “yeah, it’s not you, it’s me.”
You’re not that open
Remember that inspiring story of the lotto winner who took home 67M pesos without having to buy a single lotto ticket? Yeah, me neither. BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!
There’s nothing wrong with having standards but don’t come crying if no one qualifies. Who knows? Maybe that person who adores you for the longest time will be the best relationship you will ever have – only you won’t get to experience it because you thought he/she doesn’t look the part.
Just be open. If someone decent asks for your number or someone you know asks you out, go ahead. Save the boyfriend/girlfriend appraisal for the actual date. Like lotto, dating is a numbers game. More entries, more chances of winning.
But it doesn’t mean you have to buy all the tickets. In the insatiable need to fill that intimacy gap, we sometimes forget to think long term. Di na laway ang tumutulo sayo, desperation na.
Oh, you’re just having fun? That’s fine. Pero wag kang magrereklamo na wala nang matinong lalaki/babae sa mundo dahil ikaw mismo, di matino ang judgment mo.
Think about it. Fuccbois are enabled by girls who “date” based on looks and not on character; ironically, these are the same girls who proclaim that they hate fuccbois, especially those that they have “dated” before.
The key: really getting to know the person beyond looks. It will open you to the right kind of dating pool.
Who doesn’t want to have a relationship with someone oozing with so much bitterness against relationships? So enticing!
It’s not the world’s fault (or ng lahat ng lalaki/babae na “pare-pareho lang naman!”) that you experienced pain in your last attempt at love. So, don’t put it on them. If you got hurt, don’t antagonize the rest of the population – you know, your only source of your next potential relationship.
You can only be bitter or better; never both. And only one of these can make you move on.
You’re going after the wrong person
So, if you’re not bitter about your past, maybe you want to be bitter in the future? Ibubuhos mo lahat ng effort sa isang taong ayaw naman sayo tapos magngangangawa ka na pagod ka na maging single? We have a term for these people and… my editor just said it’s too racy so I can’t write it here.
If you’re gonna be a devotee of the wrong person, why not be a devotee of the right one instead – like God? Chasing the wrong person or the convent, take your pick for your pledge to forever singlehood.
Falling in love is fate’s doing; staying in love is yours.