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#HijaAko: Netizens Fire Back at Ben Tulfo’s Problematic Victim-Blaming Statements

#HijaAko: Netizens Fire Back at Ben Tulfo’s Problematic Victim-Blaming Statements

Jun 15, 2020   •   Kyzia Maramara

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE]

We are living in the 21st century and yet it’s as if some people remain uneducated, stuck in victim-blaming mindsets that help no one (and hurt many). One such fellow stuck in his primitive way of thinking is TV host Ben Tulfo who took to Twitter last Saturday night to try and ‘mansplain’ why rape happens to women:

This post is his response to a tweet by Frankie Pangilinan, Senator Kiko Pangilinan and Megastar Sharon Cuneta’s daughter, captioned, “STOP TEACHING GIRLS HOW TO DRESS?? TEACH PEOPLE NOT TO RAPE.”

Tulfo might think he was giving the ladies sage advice with his “You are inviting the beast” statement (who’s the beast here, really?) but he was met with heavy criticism online. People who agree with him should ponder a few things: rape doesn’t happen because of what a woman is wearing, but because of rapists.

 

#HijaAko


Pangilinan countered Tulfo’s tweet with strong statements of her own. Towards the end, she wrote “Calling me hija will not belittle my point.” Pangilinan used this to start the hashtag #HijaAko, making “hija” the new label for “girls who fight for their rights as human beings.”

The hashtag trended nationwide on Sunday where women and girls of all ages used to share their experiences with sexual harassment.

 

Not asking for it


The way a woman (or anyone for that matter) dresses should never be seen as an open invitation from anyone to sexually harass them. Why is it that from a young age, girls were taught to guard themselves against rapists when everything would have been easier if boys were taught not to objectify women?

 

No one is ever too young to be informed

The #HijaAko hashtag is full of sexual assault victims sharing their stories with the world. It’s heartbreaking to read through but at the same time empowering to know that these brave women and men are speaking up to educate others. These survivors were wearing jeans, sweaters, modest school uniforms, t-shirts, jackets, and yet they were still assaulted. No, they were not “inviting the beast,” they were assaulted because there are predators. They were raped because there are rapists.

 

Problematic men


We are done with the Tulfo brothers, honestly.

 

It’s not in the way you dress


Gab Pangilinan who starred in the hit musical Ang Huling El Bimbo also spoke up about sexual assault. Her character, Joy Manawari, was a victim of rape. Wattpad author Gwy Saludes also backed up the countless women and men who spoke up against harassment.

 

Rape exists because of rapists


In late 2019, the University of San Carlos in Cebu had an exhibit entitled “Don’t Tell Me How to Dress.” It featured clothes of sexual assault survivors. There was a onesie for a baby, a school uniform, military fatigue, and even a casual shirt and jeans combination. If that doesn’t ingrain in anyone’s head that the way a woman dresses should never be blamed, explain how animals are being raped or how even grandmothers are being raped.

 

Absolutely no justification


We have to get it through everyone’s heads: there is no justification for rape. Women should not be held accountable or even responsible for the actions of men who don’t know the meaning of the word “consent.”

 

Manyak ka rin


This is all there is to it, at the end of everything. If someone you know excuses a rapist or a predator’s behavior, chances are, manyak rin sila.

Frankie Pangilinan commends the brave souls who spoke out about their experiences with sexual assault and rape. “You are bigger than your abuse and much stronger than your abusers don’t let ANYBODY tell you different,” she writes.

What are your thoughts on this issue?


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Kyzia spends most of her time capturing the world around her through photos, paragraphs, and playlists. She is constantly on the hunt for the perfect chocolate chip cookie, and a great paperback thriller to pair with it.

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