8 Demented Love Lessons From Wattpad Movies

By Fernando Calleja

Ah, the sickeningly saccharine sugary sweetness of young love. When Millennials fall in love, it consumes every bit of their body and soul, like a euphoric drug that goes through their system. The heightened emotions, scandalous proclamations, and over-the-top kilig-inducing moments blind them, devour them, and excite them. And the Wattpad-based movies produced the past two years are notorious for bringing these fantasies to life.

In reality, these movies posit a severe misrepresentation of the youth, where they are depicted as careless, superficial, and naïve. We know better than to learn lessons on love from these escapist movies. But where’s the fun in that?

8. Sex and more sex are but a means to an end.

(Ex With Benefits, 2015)

It doesn’t matter that you and your ex have years of unresolved issues–let your pent-up passion do the talking for you. You may feel a tinge of guilt, but don’t worry, as all will be forgotten upon climax and you’ll end up together anyway. In other words: Sex ex machina.

7. An abusive (and contractually obligated) relationship is worth fighting for.

(Girlfriend for Hire, 2016)

Yeah, you may first hate the guy to the bone for being so mean to you, but it’s all part of the contract, remember? Those are all gestures of love, as you’ll soon realize. I’m sure both your families do not feel betrayed at all with the series of deceptions you both conspired to take part of.

6. Prince Charming will come for you; just wait.

(Diary ng Panget, 2014)

Without doing anything particularly remarkable, a series of chance encounters will hoist you to a situation where your ordinariness will stand out for being…well, ordinary. And in typical Cinderella fashion, Prince Charming will take notice and sweep you off your feet. Effortless!

5. Pre-arranged marriages are an absolute delight!

(Your Place or Mine, 2015)

So what if it’s 2016 and your parents are still forcing you to enter a pre-arranged marriage? You’re assured anyway that he’s an attractive hunk who unsurprisingly had a previous run-in with you and immediately wants to have your babies. Losing your agency is but a fair compromise.

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