8List.ph is published by ID8, Inc.

NSFW: The 8 Most Bizarre Pairings Spawned From #RP69FanFic

NSFW: The 8 Most Bizarre Pairings Spawned From #RP69FanFic

May 11, 2016   •   Kel Fabie

CiGzBlAVAAE7lGL

NSFW: The 8 Most Bizarre Pairings Spawned From #RP69FanFic
By Kel Fabie

 

Before we proceed, if you have issues imagining real-life people having imaginary gay sex, I would like to ask you to leave now. Done?

Okay. Now that you’re here on Incognito Mode (we won’t judge), you should know by now that #RP69FanFic was a prompt started by Philbert Dy in response to the demands of one Sandro Marcos for a recount of the VP votes. While it would be so much easier to just cyber-bully Sandro into submission, Mr. Dy took the subversive route.

 

It always starts out benignly. At least, to people who don’t know what “slash” means.

With that announcement, he immediately went down to business.

And so did Baste, apparently.

People immediately followed it up with gusto.

This writer is a natural.

From there, the hashtag has mutated into countless other pairings beyond the original SandroXBaste hookup. Some made all the sense in the world (Epic hatef*cks are typical fare in erotica, so PaoloXSandro Marcos is perfectly “normal”). Some did not—and never will, in a million years. Most of them involve the offspring of today’s political players, with a few elder characters thrown in for good measure. When it comes to smut, diversity is a must, apparently.

#KPopHalalan2016 never stood a chance.

This list is dedicated to the latter, and the bewildered reactions people would have to these pairings, also from the pool of tweets that used the hashtag. You can thank us later. After you wash your hands.

We promise one thing, though: we won’t go for the easiest punchline in the book, so don’t expect Dick Gordon to penetrate this list. Too late.

 

8. Brian Poe-Llamanzares X Sandro Marcos

While on first blush, this might seem a perfectly normal slash pairing, there’s one very important reason it might be a tad problematic…

Oh, right.

Reception:

It made him gag.

7. Daniel Padilla X Sandro Marcos

Some people say that these two gentlemen vaguely look alike and are definitely hits with the tweens. Well, what if they were a hit with each other?

Daniel Padilla sticks to his principals.

Reception:

Don’t give them ideas!

6. Alma Moreno X Baste Duterte

Alma Moreno is the gift that keeps on giving, and despite her weight gain, her dance moves still show everyone that she’s still got it. Baste, for all his bad boy bluster, might find Lovely Ness to be a whole lot more than he can handle.

Nakabukas kasi ang ilaw, eh.

Reception:

Pillz!

5. Junjun Binay X Sandro Marcos

Junjun Binay is, predictably, the Butt Monkey of the #RP69FanFic jokes. But when he gets it on, he’s nobody’s Butt Monkey. Ganyan sila sa Makati.

Sino pa ba ang may magagawa pa?

Reception:

So wrong, yet so right.

4. Sandro Marcos X Luis Hontiveros X Baste Duterte

If just BasteXSandro is hot, how about when you throw in Rissa Hontiveros’s model son, Luis? It may have taken Rissa three tries to get in, but Luis can pull it off in one. And yes, Sandro can handle it. He’s covered two holes very recently, after all.

He can take your breath away the way the Marcoses took away our basic human rights.

Reception:

Is it just your hard drive, or is it getting hot in here?

3. SandroXBasteXPaoloXJunjun

Let’s go the whole nine yards with a foursome! It’s like an MRT train in this sausage party!

Hindi man lang pinag-uusapan kung gaano kalaki ang nota documents ni Binay.

Reception:

He likes to watch.

2. Baste Duterte X Tricia Robredo

The only heterosexual pairing of note in the entirety of #RP69FanFic (No, Duriam has their own manga already. Leave them be.), the bad boy/good girl pairing may be perfectly normal in the real world, but when you’re given a slash fiction prompt, this is as unlikely as it gets.

Will the last man standing in this fic be a woman?

Reception:

This is Philbert Dy’s Ultron.

1. Teddyboy Locsin X Atom Araullo

There are no words. Really. And the awkwardness of trying to explain the whole thing to the real-life Teddyboy Locsin on Twitter just makes it even more insane.

 

Reception:

*FAPNFAPNFAPNFAPN*

 

What’s your favorite pairing from #RP69FanFic? Sound off in the comments below!


Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

You May Also Like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Your daily dose of entertaining, useful and informative lists.