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stop being jealous of friends
  • Relationships

You Need to Stop Being Jealous of Your Friends’ Successes—Here’s How

  • Posted on Nov 5, 2019Sep 12, 2022
  • 4 minute read
  • Cristina Morales
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You Need to Stop Being Jealous of Your Friends’ Successes—Here’s How

Nov 5, 2019   •   Cristina Morales

Envy is a feeling that we’re all familiar with, but would rather not acknowledge. After all, who would want to admit to feeling jealous of their BFF’s promotion/exotic vacation/new relationship? You know you should be happy for them, and you try to put up a brave front, but deep down, the green-eyed monster is rearing its ugly head, making you feel small, insignificant, and worst of all, resentful of your friend’s success.

Nobody wants to be that jealous friend, so what can you do about it when you catch yourself acting less than enthused at your friends’ good news? Here are a few things to keep in mind to stop being jealous of your friends.

Admit to your envy

via GIPHY

Again, jealousy is a perfectly normal emotion that everyone experiences. Your first reaction may be to sweep it under the rug, but this probably won’t work. In fact, obsessing over not feeling jealous may even end up magnifying the problem. Don’t feel guilty for experiencing a completely human response.

Instead, admit that you’re feeling jealous. You don’t have to tell anyone about this; just admit it to yourself. Then, acknowledge your feelings as normal. Only then can you begin processing your emotions in a healthy way and figure out how to stop being jealous of your friends.

 

Be mindful of your thoughts


via GIPHY
It’s inevitable that end up comparing ourselves to our friends, especially when there are areas in our life that we’re not exactly 100% satisfied with. When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, remember that you and your situation are unique, and falling into the comparison game will get you nowhere.

Also, examine the thoughts that led up to your self-comparisons. Does your friend’s new relationship make you feel unwanted? Are you worried about the future? Do you feel like you’re stuck in a dead-end job? By asking these difficult questions, you’ll have a better idea of where your jealousy is really coming from.

How to Survive (and Even Overcome) Your Quarter-Life Crisis
How to Survive (and Even Overcome) Your Quarter-Life Crisis
Cristina Morales | Nov 04, 2019

 

Take a break from social media


via GIPHY
Now that we’re on the topic of avoiding comparisons, we have to talk about social media. Taking a break getting off social media is the easiest way to curb this behavior. You might not know what to do with yourself at first, but soon you’ll feel much better. Plus, you’ll be amazed at how much time you have once you’re no longer spending hours scrolling through your feeds.

 

Remember why you’re friends in the first place


via GIPHY
So maybe nothing’s going according to plan, and in contrast, everything seems to be effortlessly falling into place for your friend. Don’t hold it against them—that’s just silly. Instead of zeroing in on how you compare to your friend, focus on what really counts: your friendship. (Cue: aww.)

 

See your friend as an inspiration


via GIPHY
Instead of viewing your friend’s success with resentment, why not start viewing them as life inspo? You and your friend have plenty in common, which is how you became friends in the first place. That means if your friend is able to achieve something, you should be able to do the same. So when you’re feeling a bit competitive, use that energy and turn it into something positive.

 

Focus on improving yourself


via GIPHY
We don’t have control over most things in the world. What we have control over is ourselves: how we react to adversity, and whether or not we emerge better people. If you’re feeling inadequate, don’t let yourself wallow in self-pity. Get up and do something about it. This could be spending more time studying in the library, trying out a dating app, or asking for more responsibilities at your workplace.

 

Practice gratitude


via GIPHY
When we’re distracted by other people’s lives, it’s easy to take the things we have for granted. Examine yourself and think about what you like about yourself. You might even want to write these things down. At the end of each day, list down the things that you’re grateful for. Once you take the time to look at your life in a positive light, keeping envy at bay will be much easier.

 

Remember that everyone has a unique timeline


via GIPHY
Life is messy. It doesn’t come with any road maps, cheat codes, and scripts. We’re all figuring things out in our own pace, and our circumstances are all unique. Don’t sweat it, we’ll all get there eventually.

Got any problems with envy? Tell us about what you do to stop being jealous of your friends in the comments below!


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Cristina Morales

Though a chronic dabbler in whatever tickles her fancy, Cristina claims she can count her passions on one hand: feminism, literature, the environment, embroidery, and the power of a solid pop song. She lives in Uniqlo lounge pants and refuses to leave the house without a winged eye.

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