4. Teenager claims to be pregnant with Jesus

Speaking with the paragon of truth, morals, and good taste Dr. Phil, 19-year-old Haley says “I am pregnant, and it is Jesus.”

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Haley’s own mother Kristi says her daughter is delusional, compulsive liar. She says Haley is not even pregnant, and doctors and pregnancy tests have confirmed it.

“My family, my friends, my pastors at church, they don’t believe that I’m pregnant. I know it’s Jesus. I don’t care if my family disowns me. It really comes down to if you’re a true believer in Jesus or not. I don’t care what the home pregnancy test or a doctor says, when I give birth to my baby, no one is going to deny him because he’s my savior,” she says.

We’re pretty sure Jesus didn’t get crucified only to deal with this kind of shit.

3. Saturn just changed its color and scientists are stumped

In totally unexpected news, Saturn just changed its color. A Gizmodo report says that Saturn’s north polar hexagon, which can swallow our planet whole (yikes), has changed its color from blue to bright gold.

The Cassini spacecraft was able to take a picture of Saturn’s blue hue in 2012, and the team released new images of the gold color just this month. Scientists are guessing that haze particles can be attributed to the sudden change in color. From 1995 to 2009, Saturn’s north pole was dark. Scientists say that this was due to less photochemical reactions, meaning there were lesser opportunities for the planet’s molecules to interact with sunlight, since Saturn wasn’t getting much sun.

The color change is due to Saturn’s north pole tilting back to the sun again. More light means more photochemical reactions. The good news is that we’re getting more and more insight into how planets behave, and that we finally know that Saturn can be moody and have seasonal-affective disorder.

2. Scientists say strange messages are coming from aliens

Scientists have been hearing strange messages coming from stars in deep space that may come from extra-terrestrial life. These may indicate that aliens are alerting us of their existence.

In a report by the Independent, they say that “The new study reports the finding of specific modulations in just 234 out of the 2.5 million stars that have been observed during a survey of the sky. The work found that a tiny fraction of them seemed to be behaving strangely.”

Scientists have no explanation on stars’ sudden behavior, making them conclude that aliens are the cause. EF Borra and E Trottier, scientists from Laval University in Quebec, wrote “We find that the detected signals have exactly the shape of an [extraterrestrial intelligence] signal predicted in the previous publication and are therefore in agreement with this hypothesis. The fact that they are only found in a very small fraction of stars within a narrow spectral range centered near the spectral type of the sun is also in agreement with the ETI hypothesis.”

If this is indeed true, why just now? Are the aliens warning us of something? Telling us to change our ways? Warning us of total annihilation? Well, with teenagers claiming to be pregnant with the second coming of Christ, the U.S. elections, rampant killings and impending war, we’re not surprised.

1. Cult leader scandal rocks South Korean government

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It’s seems like South Korea is the epicentre of weird right now, thanks to a crazy political issue. A presidential scandal is plaguing the country right now, with accusations that a leader of a cult has been influencing South Korea’s government.

President Park Geun-hye stands accused of giving cult leader Choi Soon-sil access to top-secret documents, thereby influencing policies, appointments, and speeches. Choi is does not officially hold any position in the government. South Korean media are speculating that Choi meddled and influenced the government and even got them to donate $69 million to foundations she controlled.

What’s interesting is that Park Geun-hye and Choi Soon-sil are old friends, and so were their parents. Park’s father was president of South Korea in the 60’s and 70’s. He ruled as a military dictator for 18 years before being assassinated. Choi’s father, founder of the “Church of Eternal Life” cult Choi Tae-min were also friends. The elder Choi would eventually become a mentor to Park Geun-hye. She was close friends with Choi Soon-sil since the 70’s. Choi currently heads the “Eight Heavenly Fairies,” a secret and unofficial political group allegedly created by Park.

So just like her father, Choi Soon-sil is like Rasputin or Grima Wormtongue. Choi has been arrested and only admitted to helping Park with her speeches and that she committed a “deadly sin.” Park has also apologized for the speeches but refuses to address any accusation of corruption.

Parks approval has since plummeted down and thousands have took to the streets in protest because OBVIOUSLY. Now that Choi has been arrested, we await with baited breath what comes next.

Anything we missed out on this week? Let us know about them below!

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