This Week in Weird News: Killer Clowns Edition

By Kevin Christian L. Santos

Hey weird gang! Another interesting week has gone by. What was particularly noteworthy was how convicted kidnapper and New Bilibid Prison’s Commando gang leader Jaybee Sebastian claimed that he directed a three-year fundraising campaign for now-Senator Leila Delima back in May. Meanwhile Leila De Lima still wishes that all this is one twisted nightmare that she wakes up from soon.

In the weirder side of the universe, things got a bit…strange.

Some strange in a delicious way, like:

8. Eating chocolate cake for breakfast is healthy because science

Good news: the most important meal of the day just got more awesome with science saying that eating chocolate cake is good for you.

New studies show that eating a chocolate cake for breakfast is good for you since it’s at that time our metabolism is working on overdrive. Researchers from the Tel Aviv University say that combining the cake with protein and carbohydrates for breakfast prevents you from craving sugar for the rest of the day.

In the study, one group was given a 300-calorie breakfast while the other group was made to eat a 600-calorie breakfast which included chocolate pudding. What’s interesting is that the researchers noted the long term effects of the sugar-packed breakfast. The 600-calorie group lost an average of 37 pounds than the other group.

What’s more dark chocolate can also help improve cognitive function. As always, moderation is key. Don’t go eat a whole chocolate cake for breakfast, unless you have no self-respect or moderation.

Coffee and chocolate cake for breakfast? Now that’s an awesome way to start the day.

7. Primary school teacher turns out to be gun-toting coke dealer

Vice reports that a primary school teacher in Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire has been sentenced to 17 years in jail for selling cocaine and keeping firearms in her home.

The teacher in question, 26-year old Aqsa Carvalho, was prosecuted after police found some nose candy and Czech-made Skorpion machine guns in her house. Authorities also found a self-loading pistol, ammunition, and a revolver. Clearly, Carvalho is not messing around. The Kingstown Crown court thought the same and charged the 26-year old with possession with intent to supply class A drugs and three counts of possession of a firearm with intent to endanger life.

We can only imagine how she taught her students, and if she gave lines of the stuff to students who were asleep all the time.

6. Hero belts out Dragonball Z theme on The Voice Thailand, is guaranteed legend status

A contestant in The Voice Thailand decided to go down in history as a goddamned legend when he chose to sing the Dragonball Z theme “Cha-La Head-Cha-La” in the show’s blind audition stage.

The judges immediately recognized the song’s opening theme, with one judge even hitting the buzzer before the contestant even sang.

As if that wasn’t enough, the contestant later belted out the Doraemon theme at the request of one of the judges.

We don’t know about you, but we hope this guy wins. Then again, he already wins at life.

5. Italy opens 24-hour wine bar

Titas and stay-at-home moms rejoice, we got some good news.

CNTraveler reports that a fountain flowing with red wine just opened by a local vinery in Italy’s Abruzzo region. That’s not all. Passers-by can drink as much as they want from the fontana del vino 24/7 FOR FREE.

The Dora Sarchese vineyard got the idea when they saw a similar fountain in Spain’s Camino de Santiago pilgrimage route. On their Facebook page, the vineyard said the fountain is a “welcome” to anyone who walks past. However, they also issued a warning for those who’ll take advantage of the fountain, saying the fountain isn’t for drunks. Because as we have seen many times before, a lot of people will ruin things for us and we can’t have nice things.

That said, it’s time to book your vacation leaves. BRB, flying to Italy.

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