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8 More WTF-Inducing Jeje Rap Versions of Hit Songs

You do you, internet.

| July 5, 2017

8 More

WTF-Inducing

Jeje Rap Versions

of Hit Songs

By Kel Fabie

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The last time we put up one of these lists, three of the 8 entries ended up disappearing from the face of the internet. With any luck, doing another one of these lists would also make some of these “hits” disappear, because hearing these audio abominations inside a jeepney is horrible enough.

Here are 8 more songs you may (or may not) like, given that unique jeje rap treatment we all know and love(?).

Bagsik Ng Baybreeze – “I’m Yours” (Jason Mraz)

Let’s open things up with a standard duet rap featuring Bagsik Ng Baybreeze, made up of Ghian, Dhelllicadeza, and Jasper. What? You guys ran out of extra H’s to hand out to Jasper or something?

From the off-key chorus sung by the girl, to the rote rhyme scheme and lyrical flow (or absolute lack thereof) of the rapping verses, to the horrific choice of pictures for the video, this is a non-stop parade into what you can typically expect from the jeje rap genre. It’s pretty much like good taste tried to approach the damned thing and shriveled up and died before it could so much as touch it.

 

KimMyOnlyLove – “Hero” (Mariah Carey)

Mariah Carey would probably go get herself buried alive just so she can turn in her grave instead of ever being asked to listen to this butchery of her song even once.  This rendition of “Hero” would make you cringe so much, you’d long for the lyrical genius of Willie Revillame instead.

Not only is the song a travesty of the highest order as KimMyOnlyLove decided to compare his lady love’s “oo” to frigging “nata de coco,” the video is peppered with horrible cheesy lines aimed towards the girl in the pictures we assume to be Kim, who probably never consented to having her not particularly flattering photos blasted on the internet like this.

 

CedricLobsTricia – “Valentine” (Martina McBride)

CedricLabsTricia, huh? That’s an interesting name. Well, what’s even more interesting is that this version of Valentine is highlighted by the complete lack of female vocals, instead relying on our rapper to pull double duty on the song as he becomes both the jeje rapper and the off-key singer. Such multitasking ability is laudable if they were directed towards anything remotely better, like maybe a root canal or clawing across a chalkboard.

Clearly, CedricLabsTricia, but Tricia couldn’t be bothered to record this atrocity with him.

 

Stupidyante – “Angel” (Shaggy)

With a built-in beat meant to be rapped on in exactly the same way as Shaggy did, it’s a wonder that Stupidyante still managed to botch that flow.

Or not. Because he did call himself “Stupidyante,” after all. People who willingly call themselves that are probably not that much smarter than Taser Face when it comes to life choices. It’s also a hallmark of a jeje rap song to actually namedrop the name of the woman you’re singing about (in this case, it’s “Janelle,” and I don’t know how many extra H’s that goes with), and to rap about being a bad boy willing to go good, which Stupidyante does here in spades, as he promises “handa akong iwanan ang aking kayabangan,” as if being a guy named “Stupidyante” isn’t in any way a hint that the dude has absolutely nothing to be “mayabang” about.

“Stupidyante.” Seriously.

Ano Raw? Nov. 3

Help.

Posted by 8List on Saturday, November 3, 2017