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8 Shakespearean Figures Carlos Agassi Epitomizes Based On His Discography (and FB Messages)

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

| February 12, 2018

8 Shakespearean Figures

Carlos Agassi Epitomizes

Based On His Discography

(and FB Messages)

By Kel Fabie

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Carlos Agassi recently found his name being a hot topic, but for all the wrong reasons.

Thanks to a certain Summer Sayson, it seems that Carlos Agassi has been called out online for hitting on multiple women at the same time, which of course, while frowned upon, isn’t the worst thing anyone has ever done.

Of course, we could have a nuanced discussion here right now about how most of us seem to be cool with Carlos Agassi doing this, but would raise bloody hell if a woman did the same thing. We could also debate where the limits are when it comes to courting multiple people at the same time, especially if your only intention is to hook up with them. We could even consider dissecting whether or not this act by Carlos Agassi is truly reprehensible vis-à-vis , seeing as nowhere does Carlos ever bypass consent, no matter if he crossed some line, which he seemed to have.

Or, we could just look back on his extensive discography and realize that Carlos Agassi has always been like this.  And hey, if we could find the very philosophers who have inspired the lyrical masterpiece known as “Hayaan Mo Sila,” surely, we could find the deeper meaning behind Carlos Agassi’s actions, right? Because truly, this whole debacle is a tragedy and a comedy of the highest order, and if there’s anyone who knows anything about tragedies and comedies…

Yes, we were referring to the great bard himself, William Shakespeare. Apparently, beyond just the course of his “music career,” Carlos Agassi has channeled some of the most compelling characters ever penned by Shakespeare, and it shows in his recent spate of FB messages. Here are just 8 Shakespearean figures he has emulated:

Macbeth: the corrupting power of unchecked ambition

Macbeth is a tragedy of the highest order: a man who was initially good, who craved advancement in life and got it by means of murder and tyranny. It was his desire for more that led to his downfall, as he traded his scruples for power, and discovered in the end that this was far too high a price to pay.

Carlos as Macbeth: Carlos has a simple ambition, but it is one that went unchecked – he wanted to get laid. In his incessant messaging of women seemingly at random, he forgot himself. Like Macbeth, this would lead to any man’s downfall, except for the Amir himself, because unlike Macbeth, as great as Carlos’s ambitions may be, he has yet to resort to murder or tyranny to accomplish it.

It is impressive to note that nearly two decades ago, Carlos Agassi already made these ambitions painfully clear, starting off with his first ever “rap” “song,” aptly titled “Boracay Baby”, where he sang the immortal words:

Kasama ko si Diether nung nakaraang Holy Week/ Boracay is the place, at babae ang aking seek…

With a lyrical wordsmith like him at the helm, Jeje Rap almost looks like the second coming of Francis Magalona. Sometimes, we do wonder if Carlos Agassi should have stuck to tennis instead.


Polonius: to thine own self, be true

While Hamlet, as a tragedy, has a lot of things to say about vengeance, justice, the impossibility of certainty, and the complexity of action, one of the most famous quotes in the entire play came from a relatively minor character, Polonius. That quote was: to thine own self, be true, which has become a moral lesson for so many other works of art ever since, especially cartoons and High School Musical.

Carlos as Polonius: In being the pabling that he is, Carlos is simply being true to his own self. All those pictures of him not wearing a shirt or forgetting his pants? That’s Carlos being Carlos.

In an age where masks and deception is all we have and when “all the world is a stage,” as another Shakespearean work, As You Like It, puts it succinctly, isn’t he simply an oasis of truth in a desert filled with nothing but lies and deceit?


Shylock: we are all the same on the inside

You might say that The Merchant of Venice is all about love versus self-interest, but at the very core of Shylock’s character, what we truly see is a man who knows that all men are truly equal. Considering that anti-Semitism was in vogue during this era, Shylock’s earnest speech of “if you prick us, do we not bleed?” was truly an outstanding masterpiece.

Carlos as Shylock: Well, speaking of pricks… Carlos Agassi is human too, guys. He also makes mistakes, and if you really, really think that hitting up multiple women at the same time is a mistake, then he is more human than most of us can ever hope to be. He’ll also happily take his “pound of flesh” any way he can. But that’s neither here nor there.

Indeed, we are all the same on the inside. This means that there’s a little bit of Carlos Agassi in every single one of us. How’s that for a mental image?


Petruchio: the man who tames the shrew

The Taming of the Shrew is a romantic comedy that talks about marriage as an economic institution and features Petruchio, a pragmatic man who wishes little more than to tame his wife, as opposed to ingratiate himself to her with undying adoration, as Lucentio does. This is a man who does what he wants, within reason, but with the kind of forcefulness you would expect from his stern demeanor.

Carlos as Petruchio: Carlos Agassi is forceful, but within reason. He is pragmatic, and has no time for self-ingratiating sentiment. Indeed, he is Petruchio, through and through.