in the MRT
By Tim Henares
By and large, the only difference between hell and riding the MRT is that one is a soul-sucking experience that drains all the life and hope from us as we forever lose the meaning and appreciation of anything that is good in this world, while the other is where we go if we don’t end up in heaven or purgatory, assuming the dominant religion is correct.
That being said, recently, Harry Roque recently rode the MRT, and he actually had the good fortune to say that his ride was “not that bad,” which is an understatement for someone who got a ticket in ten minutes and didn’t smell like he came from a sweat factory upon disembarking the train.
Now, while the presidential spokesman was clearly sympathetic to the commuting public, it’s obvious he has yet to experience the worst the normal experience the train actually offers, skewing his evaluation of the average MRT-riding Pinoy’s ordeal more towards the positive than otherwise. For people like him who might be too privileged to realize otherwise, here are some signs that you got a better than usual deal from riding the MRT…
8. You actually got to your destination with time to spare.
You might think that riding a mode of transportation with its own road and no traffic jams to speak of would be quicker than anything else, but you would be wrong: falling in line during key hours of the day is like a circle of hell unto itself, while waiting for a train with enough space to squeeze in without involuntary transplanting your face on someone else’s armpit is another circle altogether. Let’s not even consider the multiple glitches in the system that forces you to take a nice, long walk in mid-air.
Of course, if you’re Anne Curtis, riding the MRT to catch a Kylie Minogue concert is a surefire way to beat the traffic jam. Seeing as she’s done this at least three times since 2011, it’s either a simple case of special treatment, or Anne Curtis is the luckiest lady ever, riding the MRT three times in a row without any untoward incident to speak of whatsoever. Most of us can’t even get a streak going.
7. You don’t really fall in line.
Ten minutes to get a ticket? That’s the amount of time it takes to get to the train for some of us who own prepaid tickets! What did you guys do? Walk through Platform 9 ¾ or something?
6. You still find yourself filled with hope.
When Senator Grace Poe rode the MRT in 2014, she actually said it’s “not a hopeless situation.” It’s good to know that the good senator has a great surplus of hope to go around, because anyone who experiences what she did, waiting 40 minutes in line, having her ticket get stuck in the ticketing machine, would be completely bereft of any hope for humanity, let alone the frigging train.
5. You actually have elbow room to take a selfie.
No. Seriously? We’d love to take selfies, too, but we only get to do that once we’re forced to get off the train and start walking.