This Week in Weird News:
Ever Drank Toilet Water
to Keep Your Job?
By Kevin Christian L. Santos
It’s the end of another working week. You know what that means. It’s time to take our protein pills, put our helmet on, and take a wild wacky world of weirdness. Strap your seat belts because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Let’s start things with…
1. Wanted man lured from six hour standoff with…McDonald’s
How’s this for a happy meal?
In Grimsby, England, a wanted man was lured down from a six hour rooftop standoff after police promised him a meal from McDonald’s, the Grimsby Telegraph reports.
At one point, the suspect was throwing slates at police.
The man was wanted by the Humberside Police for burglary and theft. He was arrested for possession of a deadly weapon and currently remains in custody.
One of the witnesses at the scene said “The police seemed to know exactly what they were doing. There was a cordon but rather than risk anything they just waited it out. He was bound to get cold or hungry and had nowhere else to go. I heard the negotiator speaking to him about a McDonald’s. He said he wanted one and they told him he could have one if he came down. They had already refused to let someone through with a Burger King. It wasn’t long after that, that he climbed down.”
That being said, no one, and we mean no one can resist the crispy, unhealthy, delicious goodness of McDonald’s French fries. It’s the key to world peace.
2. Police are looking for a man suspected to be “pleasuring” himself during “The Emoji Movie” because Y tho
The Emoji Movie seems like a steaming pile of horse manure trying to masquerade as a passable children’s movie. It has a 6% rotten rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with the Village Voice’s Bilge Ebiri calling the movie “boldly bad, yes, but also boldly boring.” Well, some people might like the film, and one man from New Jersey liked it a bit tooooooo much. So much so that he decided to jack off to a bunch of CGI emojis.
In a July 8 screening of the movie in the Xscape movie theatre, a mother with her children and friends noticed the man with his pants unbuttoned and with his down his pants. He was seated alone in the theater’s back row.
The woman reported the incident to management, and the man was escorted out of the movie theatre. Police were called later in the day, and have also released an image of the man taken from the theater’s surveillance camera.
Upon hearing the news, The Emoji Movie star TJ Miller tweeted the following:
It’s that good. It is. https://t.co/QhKKFGtyNv
— t.j. miller (@nottjmiller) August 3, 2017
Yeah, no thanks.
3. People are getting burned from glitter-filled iPhone cases
tfw the liquid from your iphone glitter case gives u a chemical burn pic.twitter.com/NV8aJdh8X9
— justin timberlaugh (@femmettarius) February 9, 2017
Buzzfeed reports that people have been suffering from skin irritation and chemical burns from glitter-filled iPhone cases. The cases are currently being recalled.
Speaking to Buzzfeed, one of the victims said she suffered a burn on her leg while her phone was in her pocket when she was at work. She said her injury took a month to heal. Another victim said she woke up from a nap because she felt her arm was burning.
Here’s an idea: how about we DON’T fill phone cases with weird liquids and chemicals that might burn people? Just a thought? No. Being trendy is more important? Ok then.
4. Dad of the year awards Employee of the Week Award to dogs
My dad takes pictures of the dogs at the houses he works on and posts them on his business’ Facebook page as employee of the week pic.twitter.com/BrkYKdr1lT
— dill2ill (@_illdill_) August 1, 2017
Doggos, floofs, and puppers should be recognized for all the hard work they do to make us squeal from all their too-pure-for-this-world cuteness. And one dad is doing just that.
Twitter user @_illdill_ tweeted about how his dad goes the extra mile in rating dogs. His dad goes from house to house for his flooring business. When the family pet is around during his business hours, he names them the employee of the week.
On the Stairfaces and Josephsen Hardwood Floors page, you can see all the proud dogs worthy of winning the prestigious award.
It’s hard to get any work done when there is a comedian on the job site! Meet Baron, this week’s Employee of the Week. Such a happy and jovial soul!
Meet Ralph, our Employee of the Week. He was on vacation during the beginning of this job….a repair, replace and refinish project.
Meet Tucker, this week’s Employee of the Week. In between chasing squirrels, and admiring himself in his new sweater, he…
Meet our Employee of the Week: Harley! He’s the happiest helper we’ve ever had on the job.
This is Palmer, this week’s Employee of the Week
Tika. Our Employee of the Week. Great girl!
These doggos are doing such a great job. Keep up the great work!