The driver with a Big Boss

This guy got pulled over by the MMDA for dropping off his passenger in the wrong area. The driver wouldn’t accept the ticket and kept telling the officers to give it to his boss. And in front of the officers, the media, and now the internet, he reveled who his boss is: “’Edi si Lord Jesus.”

What?

Kailangan happy!

This guy was brought into custody for beating somebody up; he was apparently still high on whatever drug he was taking. The reporters asked him why he was so happy in spite of the situation, he cheerfully said “Wala lang po yun lang po turo ng nanay ko, kailangan happy!” I wish we all had your optimism! Or your mom’s unconditional love for you.

A man with a demon hand

Edwardo Valencio is in jail for molesting two girls while in a public vehicle. The girls told police officers that he tried to touch their legs and chest but in his defense he said: ”Tulog po ako. Siguro umiral siguro yung kademonyohan ng aking kamay, gumalaw.” Maybe he has a career in politics. Particularly, the Senate.

Sumbungan ng Hatdog!

Mike Enriquez rarely makes a mistake when he’s reporting and when he does, it’s mostly coughing on air followed by his famous “Excuse me po!” This recent mistake aired early in 2018 quickly made rounds on the internet and until now well into the year, it remains one of the favorite reporting mistakes. Was somebody in the crew eating a hotdog or was Mike really that hungry?

“Zero ako dun eh.”

If only we have the positivity level of this student here, we could brave anything life throws at us. For a guy who wants to cry in a corner because he got a zero presumably in an exam, he sure is chirpy! Netizens were quick to apply his statement to other areas in life, for example, if a friend asks you how your love life is going, you can reply “Naiiyak na ako sa isang tabi kasi wala akong ano eh, zero ako dun eh.”

Gadon’s monologue

In a monologue that creeped the crap out of Kara David, Gadon (“Mga bobo!”), explained the lengths he was willing to go to eliminate stubborn and rebellious citizens of the country. The video altered his voice making him sound like a regular GMA 7 Teleserye victim. The video was posted back in 2017 but Gadon being in the limelight multiple times since for his “Mga bobo” stint and the Gloria Arroyo love team, the video resurfaced.

Mang Tani trying to suppress his laughter

There’s nothing that will make you laugh more than trying to suppress your laughter. Mang Tani mistakenly calls Jun Veneracion as ‘Josie’ which is the name of the storm he’s reporting about. Ever the professional, he tries to continue reporting with a straight face but with a quivering voice that made all of us lose it in laughter.

The procrastinator

Due to a campaign, authorities rescued this barker who is part of a group of people living in the streets of Quezon City. Unfortunately he tested positive for shabu usage and was detained. Reporters then asked him when he plans on changing his lifestyle to which he hilariously replied, “Magbabago po ako pero hindi pa po sa ngayon. Baka bukas o sa makalawa.” Procrastination is bad, kids! (But same, kuya, same.)

Know any other local news fails? Share it with us below!