This Week in Weird News:
Balenciaga is at It Again
By Desiree Pore
There was a time when Balenciaga became the internet’s laughing stock because of its IKEA-“inspired” tote bags, which were way overpriced. Now they’re back again with an even more laughable design. Check out the design, and more laughable finds on this week’s version of “how has the world come to this?”
1. Will You Buy this $1, 290 Balenciaga A Shirt within a Shirt?
We’re all for innovation, but Balenciaga’s version of innovation is too far-fetched. This isn’t the first time that Balenciaga trolled its fans; in fact, their whole branding is known for its trolling on other brands.
2. This Man Couldn’t Get Enough of Fajitas, so He Stole $1.2 Million Worth of Fajitas
This man really took to heart the word “panic” in panic buying. 53-year old Gilberto Escamilla pleads guilty to stealing more than a million dollars’ worth of fajitas. During the court testimony, Escamilla said that “It was selfish” and that “it got to the point where I couldn’t control it anymore.”
3. This Grocery Censored A “Dirty” Word in Summa Cum Laude Because We Can’t Have Nice Things
What a party pooper: Proud mom Cara Koscinski placed an order for a cake online that says “Congrats Jacob! Summa Cum Laude class of 2018.”
The phrase, which is Latin, marked the word “cum” as profanity. When they picked up the cake, Koscinski was surprised that they censored his son’s cake. The store generously gave her a refund and a gift card after the whole mishap.
4. This Species Is Endangered Because They Can’t Stop “Doing It”
And we thought us humans only had this problem: the marsupials species, whose male members immediately die after marathon of sex sessions, have been included on Australia’s endangered list.
According to mammalogist Andrew Baker, “They are very frantic and try and get from one mate to another and the mating itself can last hours, so it’s very tiring.” A sex session of up to 14 hours can produce lethal levels of testosterone, which will eventually kill them.
5. A Sign From Jersey Shore Literally Travelled the World and Ended Up in France
Talk about globetrotter: a New Jersey-based real estate agency found one of its signs on the shores of France six years after Hurricane Sandy.
A man from Bordeaux, France, reached out to the company after finding the sign during a beach walk. The company said “Having our signage wash up in France on the beach truly proves that Diane Turton, Realtors is a global real estate company.”
6. The Ohio Police Will Test Your Meth for Free To See if it’s Contaminated with Zika Virus
Thank goodness for policemen for having the courage that most of us don’t: on a Facebook post by the Gratis Police Department, they warned meth users about the possible contamination of meth with Zika Virus, in which they are offering a free testing of your meth.
They later acknowledged that math can’t be a host for the said virus; but that didn’t stop people from trolling the police department.
7. This Benassi JDI Slides with Decked Out Fanny Pack is the Greatest Invention of All Time
Every few years we’re presented with inventions that prove mankind is the greatest gift from God. The Benassi JDI Slides with Fanny Pack will definitely go down in history as one of mankind’s greatest achievements. Its multi-purpose characteristic is what makes it classic yet futuristic on its own.
8. This Man Made the Wrong Move When He Befriended an Undercover Cop on Facebook
A new level of catfishing gone wrong: 40-year old Terrance Everett’s appeal for being convicted on gun charges has been rejected by the Supreme Court of Delaware. He was arrested in 2015 after he accepted a friend request two years back from an undercover detective who was using a fake profile. The detective then used the information he gathered to build a case against Everett.
And that is why you shouldn’t trust your online friends.
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