4. Burger King unveils Mac N’ Cheetos and if you tell me you don’t want one, you’re a liar

Burger King recently unveiled the latest fast food sensation/abomination: a mozzarella stick covered in Cheetos dust. Oh, and said mozzarella stick is stuffed with mac and cheese.

Mac N’ Cheetos will come in boxes of six and with some ranch dressing. Sadly, it will not be available in the Philippines and will only be rolled out as a limited release in California. However, try asking Burger King Philippines reaaaaaaally nicely and we may have some Cheetos infused mac and cheese heaven touch our tongues soon.

3. New police reports allegedly show Michael Jackson had a stash of gore and child porn

Back in 2003, Michael Jackson was charged with child molestation and administering an intoxicating agent to commit a felony. Police raided his home and took video recordings, hard drives and other documents to charge the former pop star.

RadarOnline recently published never-before-seen police reports during the raid of Jackson’s Neverland Ranch, and it painted a completely different picture of the King of Pop.

The images recovered by officers featured child pornography, gore, as well as animal torture among others. The report also stated that the types of material recovered were used to reduce the inhibitions of target victims in order for the molestation to take place.

An investigator to the case told Radar “The documents exposed Jackson as a manipulative, drug-and-sex-crazed predator who used blood, gore, sexually explicit images of animal sacrifice and perverse adult sex acts to bend children to his will.”

However, the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department say “some of the documents appear to be copies of reports that were authored by Sheriff’s Office personnel as well as evidentiary photographs taken by Sheriff’s Office personnel interspersed with content that appears to be obtained off the internet or through unknown sources.” Thus questioning the validity of the report Radar allegedly obtained.

Michael Jackson was ultimately acquitted of child molestation charges in 2005.

2. Angels block Westboro Baptist Church from protesting at Orlando shooting victims’ funeral

As all-around terrible and pathetic excuses for human beings, the Westboro Baptist Church planned to stage a protest and picket at the funeral of Orlando shooting victims. What they didn’t expect, however, were “angels” blocking their way.

Members of the Orlando Shakespeare Theatre and other members of the community dressed up as angels and shielded mourners from the homophobic Westboro Baptist Church protesters. Counter-protesters also held signs saying #OrlandoStrong, and rainbow banners. Westboro Baptist Church members eventually left the area without incident.

Westboro protesters have left the state & no plans to return. Thank you to those who met protest with grace & love. pic.twitter.com/PZJ9F9MB9S

— Orlando Police (@OrlandoPolice) June 18, 2016

This is what we need: more love. At the end of the day, love will always drive away hate. In a world full of evil, it’s up to us to always man up and be one of the good guys and spread love.

1. You do not want to be anywhere near this box

Quick, what’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever done and/or seen? Peed your bed? Shit your pants and showed your diarrhea to everyone in school? Catch your parents having sex as they bumped wrinkly uglies? Sniffed and ate your own toe cheese? Well, all that fails in comparison to (now deleted) Reddit user The_Museum_Curator.

Look at that box. Seems like an old, crappy box right? It’s actually a “cum box.” Well, let’s let The_Museum_Curator explain what the hell this is:

“Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn’t manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That’s pretty much it.”

Altogether now:

If you’re at a friend’s house and see a rather sketchy-looking box, stay the hell away from it.

What weird news have you encountered on the web this week? Share away in the comments below!

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