This Week in Weird News: Sex Offenders and Murderers Edition
By Kevin Christian L. Santos
Hey weird team! Where do we even begin this week? A police officer ran over some protesters, to which they denied doing, considering there’s video footage of them CLEARLY running them over. However, police also claim that some protesters became violent and attacked some officers. Now people are divided between taking the sides of the protesters and police officers. Just look at any comments section trying to justify these actions. Their reasoning is enough to give you cancer. Also, President Duterte bid goodbye to the U.S. and sold us pledged allegiance to China. Hey at least we got $13 billion in the deal so that’s good right? No need for the presidential jetski? Right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Though selling us out to a country that has invaded our waters is downright appalling and weird, weirder things have also been happening around the world: from the adorable to the grotesque.
8. Son catches mother having sex with his granddad, mother kills son
— China News (@ChinaNews86) October 19, 2016
Over in Italy, a mother has been sentenced to jail for 30 years for murdering her 8-year old son. She strangled her son to death after the latter walked in on the former having sex with the boy’s grandfather.
Veronica Panarello strangled Loris Stival with electrical cables before dumping his body in a remote region in Sicily, Italy. The Mirror reports that Panarello covered up the murder by claiming her son was abducted in 2014. She said that the boy disappeared when she tried to pick him up from school. However, authorities noticed something was amiss when the school’s CCTC footage didn’t match her claims. Stival’s corpse was eventually found by a hunter. The body bore a severe head wound.
Once Panarello finally confessed to her crime, she blamed her husband’s father, Andrea Stival. She claims he helped plot the murder after the boy walked in on them engaging in sexual acts. Stival denies the claims and will sue Panarello for slander.
Apparently, if a boy caught you having sex with his grandfather, killing a child is your own damn choice.
7. Indonesia to begin castrating sex offenders as punishment
In Indonesia, pedophiles can now be executed or chemically castrated as per their new law, the Daily Mail reports. Repeat offenders and those who sexually abuse family members can be sentenced to 10-20 years in jail. Courts have the ability to order offenders to be chemically castrated and tagged with a microchip. Meanwhile, those who murder their victims, give them an STD or give them lasting psychological damage can be executed.
The penalties came under fruition after the rape and murder of a 14-year old girl at the hands of a gang of 12 men and boys. Currently, Indonesia is the first country in Southeast Asia to implement castration for sex offenders.
Meanwhile, certain people would still blame women for being raped, and rape-shame them because it’s their own fault with reasons ranging from the way they dress, the way they act, and so on. Why? Because these people have their heads so far up their asses that the poop must have seeped into their brains.
Speaking of sex…
6. Germany wants you to have sex with its citizens
It’s time to book a flight to Germany. The German Federal Centre for Health Education has set up a website which encourages visitors to the country to have sex with their residents. And not just any kind of sex, but safe and consensual sex.
However, no one knows what the website really is for. With a hefty price tag of £110,000 (Php 6,501,968.44) to make, it HAS to be useful. People are theorizing that it is indeed an invitation to have sex with the country’s residents, or it was put up as an educational tool. The website is available in 12 different languages and even has topics on having sex for the first time, sex during pregnancy, and even reasons to have sex, as if you needed any.
5. Man tripping on LSD saves dog from imaginary fire
Not all heroes wear capes. Over in New York, a man high-as-hell on LSD broke into his neighbor’s house to save their dog from a house fire, police said. However, officers said that there was no fire to speak of and that 43-year old Michael Orchard imagined the fire due to the hallucinations caused by the LSD and cough syrup he ingested.
While he was tripping balls and traveling the different planes in his mind, Orchard noticed his neighbor’s house was on fire. He pounded on their door to alert them. When that didn’t work, he sprung into action and barged his sedan through his neighbor’s fence, and “risked his life” to save the dog.
Orchard will be charged with third-degree criminal mischief and second-degree burglary. He won’t be facing any drug charges since he didn’t drive on the road (just through his neighbor’s house) and wasn’t carrying any illegal substance at the time. The dog was reportedly unharmed.
He wasn’t the hero New York needed nor deserved, but it’s good we can all count on Michael Orchard for whatever emergency.
4. Woman spends one month knitting from her vagina because why the hell not
In the performance piece “Casting Off My Womb,” “craftivist” and performance artist Casey Jenkins places an entire ball of wool inside her vagina and uses it to knit various garments for 28 days. She still continues to do this while menstruating because reasons.
When she’s menstruating, she says knitting is a lot harder since the wool gets wet and she has to “yank it.” It would at times get uncomfortable to arousing.
You gotta love internet, and you gotta love the arts.
3. Man brings “emotional support duck” during flight and now we want one
— Mark Essig (@mark_essig) October 16, 2016
Speaking to Buzzfeed, Mark Essig said he saw an unusual creature walking the aisles in his flight to Asheville. The creature turned out to be Daniel, an “emotional support duck” who was accompanying his owner on the plane ride.
Here is Daniel The Emotional Support Duck in all his red-shoed glory. pic.twitter.com/rBkK0QnBKr
— Mark Essig (@mark_essig) October 17, 2016
Daniel was wearing red slippers and a Captain America diaper. Essig said that the owner says Daniel prefers the Captain America diaper over the others. We’re not sure how he knows that.
Essig was also able to capture a picture of Daniel gazing at the clouds:
Daniel, the duck on my flight, likes to look at the clouds. pic.twitter.com/YiOjCvZ0NO
— Mark Essig (@mark_essig) October 16, 2016
Now, if we were allowed to have our very own emotional support duck, the world and the comments section would be a better place.
2. Man who said his penis was “too small” to rape has been found guilty of raping sex workers
Over in Canada, Jacques “Porkchop” Rouschop was found guilty of raping sex workers. The jury rejected his defence that his penis was too small to be capable of sexually assaulting anyone.
In a very weird trial, Rouschop was ordered to show his penis to a judge in court to prove his claims. He also claimed that his belly was too big and that his hernia made it painful to have sex with anyone. Another claim was given his short arms and big belly, he was incapable of choking anyone from behind.
Rouschop, who claims he had the “penis of a seven-year old,” has been convicted of sexual assault twice in the past. In 2013, police linked him to the murder of another sex worker.
Currently, Rouschop would be serving an indeterminate prison year sentence with no chance of parole for a minimum of seven years. Meanwhile, we don’t know what a “penis of a seven-year old” looks like and how he came to that comparison. Actually, we’re better off not knowing.
1. Man who chopped off mother’s head and posed with it on Facebook now stands trial
26-year old Bahsid McLean is facing trial for murdering his mother in their home, dismembering her body, and taking a selfie with her severed head.
In a report by the New York Daily News, McLean’s lawyer argues that his client was mentally ill and didn’t know right from wrong at the time. McLean allegedly stabbed her 52-year old mother after the latter told him he was a bad father. Police say that McLean then went to a hardware store to buy a power saw. McLean used the saw to carve up her mother’s corpse. McLean then stopped to take a selfie with her mom’s head before stuffing her body in garbage bags. Police found the photo on McLean’s phone. Police were alerted to the bags when a passer-by stumbled upon them and called the authorities.
To cover up the crime, McLean called the authorities to report his mother as missing. When police asked for a photo of her missing mother, McLean gave his phone, to which officers found the chilling discovery.
McLean’s lawyer Lynn Calvacca also claims that her client has been hearing voices inside his head since he was 10, and that he has been in and out of mental hospitals ever since.
However, prosecutors are arguing that McLean knew exactly what he was doing and that he was a cold-blooded killer.
And that’s enough internet for today.
Anything we missed out on? Share them with us below!